The Other Side
by Glitterberryy
Summary: Kono needs to adapt to life back in Five-0 after her undercover op. Things aren't alway as easy as they should be. Rated M for language.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer; I own nothing but the plot. **

**I just recently introduced a friend to H50, so we spent the weekend literally watching it back to back. We decided that they handled the after effects of Kono's undercover story terribly – in fact the didn't handle it at all! So we got talking, had a little play, and this was born. We're still working on it, but we hope to update daily! **

**(We couldn't remember some minor details, for example; how long Kono was gone for, so if there are some minor blips, please excuse them!)**

**Please read and review!**

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**The Other Side**

**(1)**

_'Loneliness is never more cruel than when it is felt in close propinquity _

_with someone who has ceased to communicate'_

_- Germaine Greer_

Steve runs a calloused hand over his face, paces back and forth in front of her, his muscles tense and veins throbbing in his temples. She doesn't look at him, tries not to collapse under the weight of his glare, keeps her focus on the chip in the cement block two rows up from the floor. This room is familiar – she's been in here more times than she can count – but she's never been sat on this chair, never been in this position, never been on the receiving end of McGarrett's explosive anger, and to be quite frank, it scares the living crap out of her. She tastes blood in her mouth where she bites her tongue because she wants to shout, to scream, to tell him it's not what it looks like, that he should know her well enough by now, know that she's not capable of what he's saying – _murder! –_ wants to tell him to call IA, get Fryer down here to explain everything away. But she can't. She's here, with McGarrett, and she's never felt so alone, so detached, so ashamed.

"What are you thinking, Kono?! What happened to you?!" He yells, his words cutting through her resolve. She slips up, looks into those familiar blue eyes, sees nothing but accusation and anger. She squirms, tosses and turns, tries to escape the intensity of his stare. "What happened to you?!" He shouts, again, his voice reverberating off frigid, grey walls. The metal chair shifts below, ice against burning skin. "What happened to you?" He hisses, cold and vicious, chills her to the bone. She opens her mouth, because she wants to tell him that it's okay, she's one of them, she's_ good,_ but there are no words, no sound. She fights against the painfully tight cuffs that shackle her to the chair, feels skin tear and bruise. "What happened to you?!" He screams, pierces through to her soul, as he picks up his chair and throws it at her. She closes her eyes, screams, waits for the impact.

Kono bolts upright, her own screams waking her, drenched in a cold sweat and twisted up in her thin bedsheets. Her heart hammers, chest threatens to cave in, breaths come in short, fast pants as she gasps for air. It's not until she kicks free from the fabric restraints that she begins to calm her frantic mind and dull the overwhelming sense of panic. She forces her breathing to slow, forces large lungfuls of air into her, reminds herself that she's okay, she got out, she's safe. Realisation hits her hard; the under cover operation has taken more from her than she cares to admit, has instilled new fears deep within, planted demons she fights to hide. When her heart rate has slowed to within normal range, and she's no longer borderline anxiety attack, she recognises the metallic taste on her tongue as blood, feels it's swollen and realises she must have bitten it in her sleep, reaches over for the glass of water on her night stand, gets a quick glance at the time; 5:07am. She can tell by the darkness in the room and the gap in the curtains that the sun hasn't touched the horizon yet. Swallows against the rising bile as she recalls it's her first official day back at Five-0 today, isn't entirely sure she's ready.

Her arm burns as sweat seeps through the bandages, elicits a hiss as she tries to pull the damp, limp fabric away from the wound. The bullet had grazed her, barely brushed against muscle, but she wasn't afraid to admit it hurt like Hell. And whilst in GSW terms it was only a 'graze', it still involved a bullet scraping through flesh at several hundred miles per hour, and it had taken twenty stitches to close the tear it had left in its wake. She yanks the material free, doesn't like the look of the discharge or yellow staining the gauze. She winces as she presses against the red, swollen skin; it's hot and painful, a sure sign infection is settling in. She bites down on her bottom lip as she moves into the bathroom, rinses the wound with some warm water, applies the antibiotic cream the ER doctor had prescribed as a precaution, and redresses it with fresh, sterile dressings.

Kono longs to get back into the water. During her time off, she was able to surf for as long as she wished, quickly settled into the habit of getting up and disappearing into the ocean for the first couple hours of each day. But being waist deep would never be enough, never offer enough of a reprieve, so she opts to go for a run instead, eager to get adrenaline pumping, to pound the streets and try to forget who she is and what she's done.

She runs until the dark sky turns a magnificent mixture of pink and orange, then heads back home, gets there just as the typical blue begins to push back the warm hues of the sunrise.

She showers – an art that will take practise if she's going to keep the top of her arm dry – then spends far too long picking out an outfit. She settles for a simple tank top and jeans, her flat, practical boots and opts to tie her hair up. She doesn't have a gun to holster or a badge to clip on to her belt, and the butterflies in her tummy turn into a swirling pit of nausea. She locks the front door, gets into her car and sits there. Her body is heavy, and she's sure her vision is blurring. She puts the keys into the ignition and listens as her car fires up, ready to take her to work, like any other day, just like before. But it's nothing like before; Kono lost her badge, lost her Ohana, was forced to grow up and change whilst she was away from the people and job she loved. The panic threatens to creep over her again, hairs stand on end and goosebumps quickly cover her body. She pulls her phone from her pocket, sends a quick message to Steve – tells him she's sick, has food poisoning or something, that she wont be in today – and then turns the ignition off, opens the car door, and heads back inside.

Kono spends the day on the couch, and whilst her eyes are closed and her breathing shallow, she doesn't sleep. Memories plague her; being cuffed by the new girl, her replacement; her 'Ohana' pulling guns on her; being thrown into interrogation like a common criminal; having accusations yelled at her by one of the people she thought she could count on, the guy that was supposed to know her, to support and guide her, to_ believe_ in her. She doesn't toss and turn, doesn't move to eat or drink, lets her body go numb and stiff, waits in hope that if she stays there long enough, the pain will eventually fade and she'll start to go back to being her old self.

The sudden knocking on the front door startles her, her heart hammers with each tap on wood, and she sits up quickly, hisses when the stitches in her arm pull. It takes a long moment for her to remember that it's okay, that she's gone straight, that no more bent cops are going to be shadowing her doorstep again.

The living room is dark, the sun long below the horizon, telling Kono she's been on the couch for at least fourteen hours. Her stomach grumbles, her mouth is dry, her tongue still swollen and sore as it sticks to the roof of her mouth, desperate for lubrication. She waits, hopes her visitor will eventually give up, get tired of knocking and leave without any intention of returning, but all hopes are dashed when they're still there, doing bursts of tapping, five minutes later. Kono suspects it's her cousin, Chin Ho Kelly, checking up on her again, because he's taken it upon himself to drop by her place every evening after work, just to make sure she hasn't had a mental breakdown, or something. Her chest fills with warmth as she thinks of the man she never lost faith in, not even when he was accused of a crime he didn't commit, and then is quickly punched by guilt as she remembers pushing him away, despite his endless attempts at reaching out to her, his persistent loyalty towards her. She gets up from her spot on the couch, unravels blankets wrapped around her legs, stretches out sore muscles before heading to the door, flicking on the light as she goes.

Kono cracks open the door just enough to peer through the gap to see who's on her porch. She can barely make out the familiar, combed back hair, the shirt and the tie in the darkness.

"Danny?" She asks, her voice hoarse from dehydration, as she yanks the door open so she can get a better look at the Detective. "Hi." When she can confirm that's exactly who it is, that her eyes aren't deceiving her.

"Hi, Kono." He greets. "Uh, Chin gave me your address so I could swing by." He points over his shoulder, as if Chin's waiting for him, but Kono can only see the empty Camaro parked under the street light. "Hope that's okay."

"Right, sure." Kono nods, a little surprised at the random visit. She tries to remember the last time she saw Danny and images flash through her mind of him standing there, his gun pointing at her, the pain twisting his face as she gets cuffed...she blinks, forces those memories back.

"How are you?" He asks, points to the bandage wound tightly around Kono's arm.

"Fine." She replies too quickly. "Better." She adds when he rolls his eyes at her typical answer. He reaches up to rub at his ear and scratch at his cheek, glances back over his shoulder.

"So, uh, can I come in?" He sounds hesitant, as if he's unsure if he's crossing the line, and Kono mentally kicks herself for not already inviting him.

"Yeah, of course, sorry." She rushes, stepping aside to let him past. "Can I get you something? Coffee? Beer?" She offers, the thought of liquids taunting her dry throat, involuntarily swallows. She watches as Danny's eye cast around her small, untidy living room, stop on the tangle of blankets on the couch, and then settle back on her.

"I'm good, thanks babe. I can't stop, I've got to pick Grace up for parent's evening."

"Oh, okay." Kono nods, pulls just the one water bottle from the fridge, tears the cap off and downs at least half. Shrugs sheepishly when Danny gives her a questioning look.

"We missed you at work today." Danny starts, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Are you okay?" Kono is knocked by the concern in the blonde's eyes, is forced to remember seeing that look before; when he was driving her to the ER after the bank fiasco, when he sat with her for four hours straight, waiting for the doctor to tend to her, offering nothing more than silence so she could drift in and out of sleep, when he dropped her back home, and refused to leave until he saw she'd closed the front door, was safely locked inside. Kono clears the emotion from her throat before replying.

"Right, yeah. I had this..._thing_; sickness bug, or food poisoning, or something. I don't know." She shakes her head, can't keep eye contact as she lies, wonders how the Hell she pulled off being undercover for six months without being called out. She waits for Danny to do exactly that, call her out, but he doesn't, seems to let it slip.

"Yeah, Steve said you were sick." He nods, and Kono notices how his hands stay shoved deep in pockets, unmoving. "Feeling better now?"

"Yeah, I guess." Kono says, looking down at her bare feet and pulling at the frayed hem of her denim shorts.

"It's okay if you're not, you know, okay." Danny stumbles over his words, pulls a hand from his pocket and leaves it hovering in front of him.

"I am." Kono insists, forces a smile that she knows doesn't reach her eyes, but hopes he doesn't notice anyway.

"I mean, I didn't go to work for a whole fortnight after my first undercover operation. And I didn't even get shot." Danny continues anyway, his hand waving between them.

"Really?" Kono's eyebrows shoot up, finds it hard to imagine Danny rattled after a case, that he could ever feel anywhere near what she's been feeling. But then she can't imagine he was thrown into a small room and shouted at by someone you thought was your friend.

"Really." He confirms, his face serious. "It took me a while to find myself again. It's hard, Kono. Especially when it takes everything you are and twists it into everything you're not."

"I'm just...I'm having trouble getting past it, you know? I keep closing my eyes, and it's all I can see..." She trails off, her voice catching in her throat, her eyes tearing up, because it's the first time she's spoken about it to anyone.

"It's absolutely normal." Danny promises, takes Kono's hand in his own and gives a reassuring squeeze. "I had nightmares for months, but it does get easier."

"Everyone believe it, Danny. Every one thought I'd gone dirty. Chin, Steve..." Kono chokes, takes a deep breath. "I was so alone." barely above a whisper.

"Shit, I'm so sorry, Kono. That's partly my fault. I am so, so sorry." Danny apologises quickly, drops her hand to rub his own over his face. "I was such a shitty friend..."

"Danny, stop, you don't need to apologise." Kono cuts him short, doesn't need to hear how bad he feels, because deep down, Kono knows he's good, knows he would have been there if she'd allowed, because she'd received the texts, the few missed calls, she just hadn't returned them. She can't blame him for stopping after a while – she would have too.

"I do." Danny interrupts her, too. "We're family, I should have been there for you. I should have done better for you."

"It's not your fault, Danny. Fryer..."

"Fryer took the piss and used your naivety against you. He knew you were fresh out of the academy and that you'd do anything to protect our team." Danny fumes, before taking a deep breath to calm himself – something Kono isn't used to him doing. "Look, I know that you agreed to the op to protect us, Kono, and for that I am entirely grateful to you. Just please, _please_, promise me you won't do that again, not without actually consulting the rest of us." Kono nods, because the desperation in Danny's eye is almost painful to see, almost as if the guilt of leaving her to save him is torturing his soul. "I'm here for you, okay?" He breathes. "Any time, day or night. If you ever need someone, I'm great at talking. Listening, too, but mainly talking; I have some brilliant Jersey tales I could distract you with."

"Thank, Danny." Kono smiles, this time a genuine one that reaches her face and lightens her shoulders, as a tear rolls down her cheek. She huffs out a breath that sounds half way between a sob and a laugh, relief washing over her because that's all she's needed; for her Ohana to prove that they're there for her, they hadn't forgotten her, they care for her.

"Come here, you big Goof." Danny grins, holds his arms open for Kono to fall into them, the embrace easy and comfortable as she wraps her arms around him, holds tight, inhales the familiar scent of Armani Code.

"I'm sorry about Rachel." Kono speaks into his shoulder, feels Danny tense and then relax before he releases her and she steps back again. "Chin told me last night."

"Yeah, well." Danny shrugs, this time his turn to force his lips to turn upwards. "It didn't work the first time, right? Who's to say this time would have been any different?"

"Still blows." Kono shrugs, winces when they stitches pull again – she really must try to remember she got shot last week.

"So does getting capped." Danny nods towards the bandage, when red begins to seep through the stark white material. "I'd know."

"Yeah." Kono chuckles at that, wipes the tears from her face. "Smarts a little."

"Ha! You should partner up with McGarrett. You'd soon get used to it." Danny only half jokes as he checks the time on his watch. "Sorry kid, but I've got to go, Grace will be waiting."

"Give her a hug from me." Kono requests, because Grace _is _family, and is one of the people her heart ached for during the darkest of times.

"You can give her one yourself on Saturday. I need some more surfing lessons." Danny says as he pulls open the front door and steps back onto the porch.

"I'd love to, Danny, but I can't get this baby wet." She shrugs her injured arm carefully.

"Lame excuse, Kalakaua. You know I'm nowhere near ready for the real waves." He winks, laughs softly and Kono can't help but join in.

"Fine." She smiles. "Maybe we'll make it to the water by Christmas, huh?"

"Don't push it." Danny shakes his head before sobering. "We're good?"

"Yeah, we're good." Kono nods, is honest, feels it soul deep. "Thanks for swinging by, I'm glad you did. Now get out of here! You'll be late, and you should never keep a lady waiting!"

"See ya, then." He waves, before turning and hopping down the wooden steps.

"Yeah, later, Brah." Kono calls after him, watches as he hops into the drivers seat of his Camaro (for a change) and speeds off.

She feels different. Lighter. Maybe tonight, the nightmares wont be so bad.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer; still don't own it. Damn.**

**Here's the second instalment. We're not sure where we want to take this story now. We have two separate endings in mind. **

**Please review. They make us happy. :)**

**GB & AP xox**

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**The Other Side**

**(2)**

_'Home is where one starts from'_

_T. S. Eliot_

It takes a week for her to get up the courage to come, to be here, to finally accept that she may never be ready, but it's time to come home. Seven mornings of waking, body shivering and doused in sweat, the nightmares vivid, formed from memories. Seven awkward, one sided showers, and seven long, fast paced runs. Seven sunrises to remind her it's a new day, filling her with hope, as she gets into her car, starts the engine. Seven failed attempts; she gets back out of the car and heads back inside. Seven days spent on her couch, staring at the ceiling or watching images flash behind closed lids.

Kono stands, hand resting on the metal handle, looking through the glass door; her heart hammers in her chest, she swallows as the butterflies start to flutter in her tummy, her hands are clammy and bile lurks, threatens to claw its way up her throat. She'd had it planned out in her head; she'd come in early, knowing the office would be deserted because everyone would still be at home, in bed, so she wouldn't have to share her awkward first time with any of the team. But she was wrong, should have known never to assume, because there's no mistaking the short, blonde detective leaning over the Smart table, talking to some woman who has her back to Kono; Lori, she decides, because she remembers the long, blonde hair, the small frame, the feminine blouses.

She glances over her shoulder, wonders if she should just walk away, because her chances of sneaking into her office undetected are slim to none, but when she looks back, she's knows she busted as soon as her eyes lock with Danny's. Her breath catches in her throat, anxiety restricting her airway, but it slips away as she's instantly calmed by the large grin spreading across his face. He waves his hand, enthusiastically, beckoning her in, to join him. There's no going back now, she decides, and obeys by pulling open the glass door and slowly wandering past the familiar, empty offices.

"Kono! You're back!" Danny cheers, thrusts his arms open wide to pull her into a welcoming embrace.

"Hey Danny." Kono smiles into his shoulder, gives him a squeeze with her good arm, before taking a step back and looking into those friendly, grey eyes. "Good to see you." She says, and she means it, because they've already fallen back into their homespun friendship; after his first initial visit, he'd kept up contact with her via text messaging, and even dropped by her house a couple times, armed with a six pack and pizza. He'd kept to his promise to be a better friend, filled her head with endless tales from Jersey. He listened intently when she offered information about her op, didn't interrupt her, let her talk until she had nothing left to say. And then he'd reach over, squeeze her hand, or shoulder, or knee, he'd smile, and then start back on some crazy story, enthusiastically and dramatically telling it with his hands, not stopping until her sad tears turned into tears of laughter. His cordial grin and earnest chuckle comforted her through night terrors, promised she wasn't alone anymore. She needed to thank Danny for that. Kono turns to the woman standing there, watching her, her face soft and friendly. She clears the emotion from her throat, reaches across the smart table, offers her hand. "Hi, Lori. Nice to meet you again."

"Nice to meet you." Lori repeats, shakes Kono's hand gently. "This time under better circumstances. Sorry about that."

Kono shakes her head, holds her hands up.

"No, it's fine. You were just doing your job." _Doing as you were told,_ she wants to say, but she bites back those words, because really, it wasn't Lori's fault she was here, was ordered to arrest the woman she was forced into replacing. She wonders if Lori's as good as Danny says, if her profiling eye could see past the façade, past the dead body in the car, the blood on her hands as they were pulled behind her and cuffed.

"Well, for what it's worth, I'm glad you're back."

"Really? Thanks." Kono accepts, can see herself liking this girl.

"I've heard so much about you; the guys never stop gushing." She says, and Kono looks to Danny who's holding his hands up in a protest of innocence, shakes his head and looks away from Kono's inquisitive eye.

"Alright Babe, that's enough." He addresses Lori. "You'll blow her head up, and as you can see for yourself, it's already close to being out of proportion with the rest of her body." He jokes, gestures up and down Kono's figure with his hands.

"Are you saying I have a big head?" Kono steps back in mock offence.

"Yes, I am." Danny nods, holds a finger up to silence any incoming retort from either women. "But it's only that big because it has so many brain cell to hold, am I right, Miss Smartie-pants?" His mouth twitches at the corners as he tries to suppress a smile.

"Nice save." Kono chuckles as she bumps her good arm against Danny's. "How long you been working on that one?"

"Oh, you know." A casual, one shouldered shrug. "All summer." He beams. "A cop without a job has plenty of time to work on his material."

"Oh I see." Kono nods enthusiastically. "Well you need to keep working on that one, Danny." Danny laughs at that, snakes an arm around Kono's back and pulls her into him, a friendly gesture.

"Good to have you back, Kalakaua."

"Talking of being back, what are you guys even doing here this early on a Sunday?" Kono asks, feels the muscular arm fall from her back, as Danny leans forwards on the smart table.

"We've caught a case." Lori replies grimly.

"And by 'caught', she means assigned by the Governor." Danny confirms, his face dark as he remembers each photograph – the images burned into his brain, where they'll stay for the foreseeable future.

"Okay, so what's the deal?" Kono asks, already her mind is switching into police mode – the change being so smooth, so easy, she barely notices.

"Serial killer." Lori answers, before skimming fingers over the table and bring up horrific images of dismembered bodies. "But it's nothing we've ever seen before. It seems his vic's are wealthy newly weds, but there's never anything taken; jewellery, watches and wallets are left untouched. And the killing style is different." Lori does some more swiping, splits the images between two separate monitors, and Kono doesn't need telling that they're sorted by gender. It also doesn't take her long to understand what's so unique. She studies the women first; they're all naked, their bodies barely touched, and it looks as if the hair has been styled and fresh make up applied. They're hands and feet have been cut off with precise, smooth cuts, and placed to the left of the bodies, neatly, as if the killer has take the time to care. Kono's eyes move over the to second monitor, where images of naked men fill the screen. There are multiple stab wounds to each torso, at least 6 or 7, and eyes have been gouged out. The limbs, whilst they've also been removed, has been cut with jagged incisions, as if the blade was serrated but blunt and the hands and feet are tossed around the body, in random places, as if just thrown and forgotten.

"It's as if we have two different killers." Kono breathes, the images already threatening to haunt her dreams tonight.

"Yeah, that's what we thought." Danny nods, walks around to get a closer look at the monitors. "But Max says that it's the same guy; the cuts are the same, but different. Same amount of weight put behind it, same location on the body, all incisions made by a right handed person."

"They've been selected for a reason; this isn't random. I'd say that these women remind him of someone, maybe an ex lover, or spouse, which is why he's taken the time with them. See how he's done their hair and make-up, all the same? And it's spotless, as if he's done this before." Lori says, before stepping back and folding her arms.

"The only link that we can find is a cruise ship." Danny says, turning back to Kono. "But we've been through all of the people on board, none of them even have a speeding ticket, and they all have alibi's for the nights these couples went missing."

"You said they're all newly weds?" Kono asks.

"Yeah, four of the couples were married on the ship, the other two were honeymooners." Danny sighs.

"It's hard to get a read on this guy." Lori responds to the sigh, goes back to flicking through computer files. "We're just waiting for the Liner to hand over all of their CCTV footage. Hopefully we can find something on there."

"Is that where Chin and the Boss are?" Kono asks, because she hasn't seen either since she's arrived, and if she knows Danny, it's that he wouldn't sacrifice his Sunday morning unless everyone else had to as well.

"Erh, no." Danny shakes his head, takes in a deep breath as he looks at Lori and then back at Kono. Kono flicks her eyes onto Lori, who's watching Danny, as if waiting for him to decide what to do, how to handle whatever it is they're tempted to hide. "They're in Steve's office." Danny eventually huffs out, nods to the windowed room, and it's only when Kono looks that she notices the door is closed and blinds shut. "With Fryer."

"Fryer's here?" She exclaims, looks wide eyed back at Danny, is too busy being surprised to appreciate his honesty right now. She racks her brain for a genuine excuse for IA to be here, wonders what Steve could want with IA, or worse; what IA could want with Steve. And then she curses under her breath, because dammit, she did what Fryer wanted, she risked everything to save her team and put away Delano, so he has no right, no justifiable reason to be here, at her home, with her family, her Ohana. "What does he want?" She asks, is sure her voice sounds calmer than she feels.

"I don't know. They were already in there when we got in this morning. They closed the door and blinds as soon as they saw us arrive."

"When was that?" She keeps her eyes trained on the glass door, chews her bottom lip.

"An hour ago." Danny shrugs, as if it's nothing to be concerned over.

"That's weird, right?" Kono looks back at Danny, notices how Lori has kept her head down and is busying herself with computer work.

"It's probably nothing. You took care of everything before, right? So no need to worry. It's probably just paperwork and all that boring stuff they need to sort for your return." Danny comforts, but Kono doesn't miss the way his eyes dart to the office and back to her, the way his voice shakes just a little.

"Yeah, maybe." Kono nods, mainly just to entertain Danny, doesn't ignore the niggling in her stomach that it's something different.

"Hey, look, why don't you go get settled back in your office. I'll bring over some files so you can get up to speed with the case, okay?" Danny offers, and Kono can't really say no, because her head is spinning with all of the worst possible scenario's, knows she needs to sit down before she starts to panic, should get that paperwork completed for IA.

"Yeah, thanks Danny." She nods, before heading for her own office, only glancing at Steve's once more before closing the door to her own.

Time drags for Kono. She tries to distract herself with the forms IA had requested she fill out and get signed, reads over the questions and answers several times, agonizing over every detail, but only minutes pass. She glances up at Steve's office, waits for the men inside to make an appearance, but they don't.

She feels frustrated.

Danny does as he promised; he drops off two files full of printouts for her to read over, but he doesn't say much, just asks if she's okay, if there's anything else she needs, then leaves quietly when all she offers in return is a silent shake of her head.

Despite being away for so long, though, it doesn't take very long for her to get lost in the case, scouring over every sentence, examining every picture, trying to connect any leads, find the link in the information. It's almost as if she was never away, never disappeared for 6 months, never lost touch with the people that declare to have her back.

Kono looks up from the files as knuckles tap softly against the door frame. Her cousin, Chin, smiles at her before stepping into the office, and sitting in one of the small leatherette chairs opposite her desk.

"You're back." He states warmly, smiling.

"I am." Kono nods, smiles back.

"I didn't expect you today, you okay?" He asks, nothing but concern in his tone, and Kono sighs, already sick of people asking her, as if they think she may break down any second.

She answers honestly, because since she's been back, she's felt like she's at home, likes she's doing what she's meant to be doing. "I just wanted to get some paperwork done. I thought it would be quiet, but I was wrong."

"Yeah, the Governor..."

"Assigned a case, I know." Kono finishes, hold ups a brown folder. "Danny and Lori filled me in, I'm just looking over some files now."

"Are you sure you're ready, Kono?" Chin asks, his eyes holding hers.

"Yeah, it's fine. It's no shoot out or high speed chase, but it feels good to be doing some real work." Kono jokes, before sobering. "So what did Fryer want this morning?"

"You know about that." It wasn't a question, more a statement full of defeat. "We were just talking about the Delano case. Apparently they have enough evidence against him so you wont have to testify in court. I was going to come by tonight with the news."

"That's good." Kono sighs, relief flooding her. "Fryer couldn't have told me himself?"

"He had some other stuff to sort with McGarrett, too." Chin answers, too quickly, and Kono narrows her eyes.

"Oh, okay." She shrugs her shoulder, bites back a groan as her shoulder aches. The stitches are starting to dissolve, but they still pull if she makes any sudden movements, and even though it's healing well, it's still incredibly sore.

"Does Steve know you're here?"

"No." Kono shakes her head. "But I should go and see him before he finds out from Danny or something."

"I would." Chin nods, before standing and stretching out his back. "He's been worried about you, Kono. He'll be glad you've come back."

"Yeah." She stands, doesn't quite believe the words Chin says, because it'd been six damn months, and she didn't even have one damned text from him. She closes her eyes as his words ring through her head; '_what happened to you?' _

"I'll go now." She says as she opens her eyes and grabs the forms sitting on her keyboard. She swallows, hard, follows Chin out of the office and heads for Steve's.

Kono stands in the doorway, watches Steve as he sits, hunched at his desk, tapping furiously on his laptop, his brow furrowed in concentration. She doesn't move, doesn't know what to say, if there is anything to say, if she's even ready to say it. She feels eyes on her back, glances over her shoulder to see Danny smiling at her, encouraging her, and she realises there's no chickening out now. She takes a deep breath, taps on the glass softly, but loud enough for Steve to hear it, to jerk his head up and look at her.

Those blue eyes focus on her, wide to begin with, before narrowing, look a little confused. Kono tries to remember if they were that blue before, if he always looked at her the way he is now, but she can only remember that day, when they were cold and critical. She suppresses the shiver, clears her throat, finds her voice.

"Hi, can I come in?" She sounds more confident than she feels under the intensity of his stare, remembers being shoved in that hot, dimly lit room.

"Sure." He says, a second slower than she expects, gestures for her to come inside as he shifts to sit straighter in the desk chair. She forces her heavy feet over the threshold, ignores the urge to turn and run, closes the door softly behind her. A few seconds pass, made heavy with awkward silence, as she casts her eyes around the room, isn't sure why she's surprised nothing has changed, that everything is the same, before finally looking at Steve. Well, almost everything.

"You're back?" It's the uncertainty in his voice that Kono can't get a grasp on, as if he doesn't know whether to greet her or not. She settles for one nod of her head, before stepping forwards and handing him the papers she's gripped tight enough to crinkle.

"I just need you to sign and date these for the Governor so he can reinstate me." She keeps her tone tight, sticks to being professional, ignores the thud-thudding of her fast beating heart, wonders if he can actually hear it.

"There's no need." Steve says, lets the papers slip from his hand and land in the trash. "You were reinstated last week." Kono's eyes land on the stack of papers she'd spent too long going over, wonders if her face is portraying her annoyance, before she looks back to McGarrett, watches as he pulls the familiar badge and gun from a desk drawer and places them on the desk in between them. Kono doesn't reach for them, her trust broken the day he pulled a gun on her, ordered to keep her hands where he can see them, get out of the car...

"I just need you to sign this form to transfer back over to the task force." He says, disturbing Kono's reveries. "If you want to." He adds, as if it's an after thought, as he drops a sheet of paper on top of the gun. Kono frowns at that, doesn't understand, because she thought it was a given she returned to Five-0, thought it was never discussed because it didn't need to be.

"If I want to?" She asks for clarification. Steve watches her, his face creased as if deep in thought, before he nods once.

"It's a voluntary transfer. Fryer says he's happy to keep you, if you'd like to stay with Internal Affairs."

"Oh." Kono breathes, now understands, isn't sure if she should ask what Steve wants, if he wants to 'keep' her. _Like a friggin' puppy_, she thinks. "That's not what I want." She shakes her head, because even if she is significantly pissed, messed up, sometimes feels lost, she's finding her way back, never once considered staying away.

"Okay, good." Steve nods again, his face relaxing a little. "How's the arm?" He points to the bandage.

"Fine." She answers, but Steve waits, because even before, that would never have been enough. "It got a little infected, but that's cleared up now. The Doctor says it's healing well." Kono elaborates.

"Do you need Physio?"

"No, it was just a flesh wound, so it's fine."

"Okay." Steve seems to accept that, stands up and moves around his desk to perch on the edge. He watches her, studying her, as he folds his arms across his chest, and Kono shifts on her feet. Another awkward silence fills the room, the tension almost thick enough to be physical, and she wonders why this is so hard, why she can't just crack some stupid joke to make him laugh, so she can laugh, and they can finally move forward. But she can't even bring herself to look at him, in those eyes, wants to squirm under the power of his stare. Now she's been stood there, chewing her lip and scratching her ear, letting the silence tick by with the seconds, she isn't sure on how to leave, to end their meeting. She glances back at the door, then back at Steve, scratches her eyebrow. He notices, she thinks, because he takes in a lungful of air, reaches behind him for the badge and gun, and holds it out for her to take. "Welcome back, then."

"Yeah, thanks, Boss." Kono says, lets out the breath of air she'd apparently been holding, takes the offered items. "I'll get straight back to work."

"You're on desk duty until further notice." Steve informs, his face blank and voice flat, as she clips her badge back on her belt, feels better to have the subtle extra weight there.

"Desk duty? Why?" Kono exclaims, her voice louder than she'd wanted, wonders why he even bothered giving her the gun back.

"I feel you'd benefit from being eased back into the job." Steve explains, and Kono doesn't recognise his tone, can't understand why she's being punished, because she did a damned good job on the Delano case, especially for a _Rookie._

"Okay." Because he's the boss and she can understand that. "So, desk duty for a week, then? Maybe two?"

"Until further notice, Kono." Steve repeats, talks slow as if she just isn't getting it, but she's getting it all right. She grits her teeth, wants to scream and shout, because he's being an insensitive jerk, a hypocrite. "You're also required to attend some counselling sessions with an appointed therapist..."

"I don't need counselling!" Kono bursts, cutting Steve off, because it's an insult; she's not crazy! "I'm fine." She insists, calmer this time.

"Kono..."

"Honestly." Kono cuts him off, desperate for him to see she's not going to break. "I just need to get back out there and catch some bad guys."

"Once a week." Steve asserts, looks a little apologetic, but it doesn't wash with Kono. "I'll email over appointment details later."

"Fine." Kono forces, reminds herself to try and stay professional, to remember he's not a friend but her boss, the team leader, but bitterness fills her belly and fuels her anger. "Are we done?"

"There's on more thing. We.."

"_We?"_ She asks, narrows her eyes as Steve nods.

"Chin and I..."

"You talked to Chin about me?" She bristles, grips the gun tightly in her hand, can't believe she's hearing what she is.

"Yeah..."

"You had no right!" Kono yells, professionalism be damned, but Steve's a trained SEAL; the raised voice doesn't make him flinch or falter.

"We think that you may find some classes at the academy useful."

"Are you kidding me?!" Kono seethes. "You want to send me back to the fucking _academy_?!" Rejection and betrayal pound in her chest.

"It's just for a week. Think of it as a refresher course..." Steve explains, stands up and moves towards her but Kono automatically steps back.

"I don't need _refreshing_." Kono says, her voice low and controlled, barely shakes. "In case you've forgotten, I was a pretty kick ass cop until I...wasn't." She still can't bring herself to say it out loud; before she lost her badge. Lost her badge for _him_. "Please, don't." And she's aware that it sounds exactly how she means it, because yes, she's pleading with him.

"Kono..."

"Please." She begs again, hugs the gun tight to her chest as if it will save her from breaking. "Please don't do this to me."

Steve stares at her, his eyes locked on hers, deep, and soulful and something else she can't quite put a name to.

"Okay." He sighs. "No classes for now. But the therapy isn't an option."

"Thanks." Kono sighs, relieved, because how bad can a shrink really be? She turns and starts for the door.

"Kono, wait..." Steve starts, sounds pained, reaches out to catch her by the wrist, but she's still quick, pulls it from his grasp and angles her body away from him without even thinking about it.

"I need to get to work." She says, doesn't look back as she walks out of his office, over to Danny and Lori, forces a smile on her lips and tries to pretend she can't feel him watching her.

She avoids Steve and Chin for the rest of the day.


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's Chapter 3. we're trying to sort through the time line of events. Bullet grazes can take, on average, between 3-6 months to heal, and that's just to the point where there's no bruising etc. It can take even longer before there's a full range of motion back in the arm without pain etc, and considering H50 managed to skip the whole healing process and Kono was back to normal the next episode, we're guessing it's several months later. If anyone has any clues on the timeline, please feel free to let us know either via PMing me, or a review.**

**The second thing we're asking help on, is how you want this story to go. SHE wants McKono, I want to stick to the series. So, which ever gets the most votes I guess will win. Again, you can review or PM me! **

**Anyway, please read and review! **

**GB **

**xox**

* * *

**The Other Side**

**(3)**

_'You cannot find peace by avoiding life'_

_- Virginia Woolfe_

Kono takes her therapist's advice, decides to confront her fear head on and just go down to interrogation, because she can only avoid it for so long. She's already been back just over three weeks, and she's starting to run out of excuses for not escorting criminals down there, or not sitting in on interrogations, or just avoiding it in general.

She waits until everybody filters out of the office for lunch, declines any offers and makes up an excuse about filing reports for IA and going over statements, knows that wont entice any more questions.

She walks down the dark hallway slowly, and although she wishes she could blame it on the aching muscles and stiff joints from pushing herself at the gym, she knows it's because a part of her wants to turn and run away, to let her demons win. She catches her breath as memories wash over her, can remember it as if it was yesterday.

Steve walks ahead, his back straight and shoulder square, doesn't slow his pace as Kono tries to dawdle, to drag it out, wants to give him time to think this through, to change his mind. Lori's hand presses softly at the small of her back, guiding Kono, as if doesn't know where she's going, as if she hasn't lead her own fair share of crooks down this dark passage before.

She can smell the sweet vanilla perfume of her arrester, mixing with the familiar dusty haze, can feel a bead of sweat rolling down her neck, down her back, as she tries to conjure an escape route, a way out of this; comes up blank, knows she'll never survive prison. Steve holds the door open to the poorly lit room, refuses to look down at her, even when she hesitates, stops briefly, gives him the chance to soften, to realise he's wrong about her. But he doesn't, and Lori's hand is there, pressing into her back again, so she takes the step forward; into the room they throw suspects, the room they crowd their offenders, shout at them, befriend them, trick them into giving up their secrets. The room they break people.

Everything changes the instant her foot falls over the threshold; the air is thicker in here, hotter. The lighting is dim, casts menacing shadows that darken the corners, makes it feel like the walls are closing in on her. She takes another step, her boots sounding heavy on the concrete floor, goosebumps covering her body, her hands turn clammy, and she realises that everything that gave her an advantage before, boosted her power over their lawbreakers, is now going against her, taunting her.

She hears Steve says 'leave us', deep and throaty, as the cuffs are removed, and then Lori has gone and it's just her and McGarrett, standing there, alone, and he still refuses to look at her. Like he's _ashamed; _of her, or for her, Kono isn't sure, doesn't really want to know, can't bring herself to ask.

"Sit." He eventually barks an order, slams her cell and keys he'd confiscated on the small, metal stand, and Kono sits, because there is no room for negotiation. He takes a deep breath, and she shifts on the cold, hard chair, watches as Steve disappears out of the room, and then reappears with his own chair only a few seconds later. He sits opposite her, leans forward, elbows on knees, hands pressed together as if he's praying, or pleading with her – which, she isn't sure.

"What's going on, Kono?" He asks, and his tone catches her by surprise, because he doesn't sound pissed, angry or betrayed. It takes her a second for her brain to kick start, to recognise what's happening, what he's doing.

She bites the inside of her cheek, because she wants to tell him, so bad, but she can't. Fryer's made her promise, was perfectly clear about what would happen if she let slip anything to anyone. She can't risk messing this up, blowing her cover, putting people she cares about in IA's cross hairs.

"Kono, let me help you." He tries again, his voice soft and comforting, and she looks away from those baby blues, spots a chip in one of the cement blocks, puts all of her energy into concentrating on that, but can't shut off her peripheral vision. Steve gets up, starts to pace back and forth, his movements graceful, and he reminds her of a lion, lean and powerful, pacing its cage, desperate to get out, to run, to hunt, to_ live_. He rubs a hand over his face, and then he stops, takes a breath, leans on the back of his chair, and just stares.

Shadows haunt his face, chisel his cheekbones and sink dark eyes, and she hates it, because he's looking at her like she's damaged, she's corrupt, like he's regretting every choice she's ever made, every case they've worked together, every conversation, every laugh, every damn second together. Like he's regretting _her_.

She can't bring herself to look at him, not when she sees all of that recrimination in the eyes that remind her of the ocean; a place she feels safe, whole, at home.

"I wanna help you, Kono, okay? I really wanna help you, but you gotta help me help you. You gotta tell me what is going on." He tries again, but she knows his game, knows what he's trying to do. He's trying to entice her, to lure her into a false sense of security, to make her believe he trusts her, so she can trust him, to make her think that he gets it. But she's not falling for it, because that's what she does, how she gets the suspects to talk, to confess their sins, before she throws them in jail and forgets about them, leaves them to rot. Just like he's going to forget about her, leave her.

"I can't." Kono forces out, her throat dry, heart hammering. She won't give in; he won't win.

"I can't." He repeats, and it's like those words have cut through to him, shattering his Good Cop act, because that's all it was; an act. Because he doesn't believe in her, actually believes that she is capable of being what he is insinuating; _dirty_. He slams the metal chair against the concrete, his knuckles turn white, frustration twisting and marring his face. She refuses to flinch, to react, to let him know he's gotten to her. "Listen to me; that's not good enough!" He yells, his voice bouncing around the room. "_'I can't'_ is not good enough, because today, you were driving in a get-away car with a dead person in the front seat, okay Kono?" As if she doesn't get it, doesn't know what she's done. "This isn't a game. We are talking about_ two murders_!"

He steps closer – close enough for her to smell his aftershave mixed with sweat – and that's when she clicks, when she realises; there's no way he could think she was innocent. "I mean, what are you thinking, Kono? Huh? What happened to you?!"

She wants to yell back, to scream, to tell him _he_ happened to her. _He_ put her in this situation. _He_ should know her better than this. But she doesn't speak, clenches her fists and grits her teeth, only looks up when the familiar figure steps into the room. Feels relief flood her when she spots Chin, wants to run to him, wrap her arms around him and cry for hours, to tell him everything and let him promise her it'll be okay, that he's got her back, because he knows; he's been here, he's had everyone he cared for think the worst of him, been accused of something he was so totally innocent of.

"Steve!" Chin shouts, matches his voice with McGarrett's, and then Kono's lost, because that's not the Chin she wants, and then she remembers that it doesn't really matter, because she's can't confess to him, either.

"Kono? What are you doing down here?" The voice startles her, and she jumps back, takes a second to get her bearings; interrogation room, present day. She swallows when she looks into those eyes, the same ones the pinned her to the chair she knocks into, causing legs to scrape against the concrete floor, kicking dust into the air. She feels sick, her stomach squeezes tightly, hairs raise to stand on end.

It's like her nightmare all over again.

She clenches her teeth, fights to breathe slowly through her nose, her mouth dries. _You're in control._ She reaches for the rubber band her shrink recommended she wears on her wrist. She twangs it once, just enough for the thwack to ground her, to slow her heart as it pummels sternum.

"I, uh..." She starts, but he's standing there, in the doorway, watching her, his brow furrowed, and she can't concentrate. He steps inside the room, and the lights cast the same shadows across his face.

"Are you okay?" He asks, cautiously, waits for an answer as he contemplates her.

"Uh." She can't make her voice work, her brain wont form coherent sentences, and he's right _there_, watching her. Her shoulder begins to prickle, the bullet wound a dark reminder.

"I'll call Chin..." He starts, slowly pulls his phone from his pocket and she frowns, because he's acting as if she's a bomb, ready to explode and take him with her.

"No!" She says, finds her voice. "No, I'm good." She insists, sounds firm and more confident than she feels.

"You're good?" He asks for clarification, and she takes a deep breath, because he's not shouting at her, not demanding she tell him why she's turned, why she's suddenly so venal.

"Yeah." She nods, relaxing a little, drops her hand from the band on her wrist and takes a step closer to Steve, away from the chair that she never wants to sit in again. "I'm just..." She tries to find the right words, sifts carefully for a good enough explanation, because he's looking at her as if she's about to break. "I haven't been down here since...you know."

"Oh." Steve does know. Steve knows too well.

"You just made me jump. I thought I was alone down here. Sorry, I didn't mean to freak out on you, and get all girly."

"It's fine, Kono." He says, but his face is still tense, his forehead creased.

"My therapist thought it would be a good idea." And now she can't make herself shut up. "You know, to face my fears. Not that I'm afraid of it in here, I just...you know." She bites her lip, could kick herself for becoming a babbling mess.

"And how's that going; the therapy?"

"Yeah, it's fine."

"Fine?"

"Yeah, I mean, we've only had three sessions, but she hasn't declared me clinically insane, so..." She shrugs one shoulder lightly, and that evokes a soft chuckle – something Kono hasn't heard since she returned almost a month ago.

"That's good." Steve sobers, offers a lopsided smile, softening his face. "Look, Kono, about that day..."

"We don't have to talk about it, Boss. I mean, that's why you put me into therapy, right?" Kono cuts him off, holds her hands up, a gesture to stop him, because she's forced to talk about it once a week with someone she doesn't even know, and that's bad enough. There's no way she's going to open up and talk to the man who lost his faith in her, too.

"I know, but..."

"Please, Boss. I don't want to do this. Not with you."

"Kono..." He continues, and it sounds the same as when he was pleading with her, begging her to tell him why she'd changed, turned against everything she thought she was...

"I said no." Kono snaps, heads for the door, because the room's getting smaller, closing in on her. She waits for Steve to move from the doorway, so she can escape, so she can leave. She feels empowered when she does, because this time, she _can_; because that room is where the bad guys go, and Kono's _not_ one of them.

**H50**

"Hey, I got an address." Lori greets Kono later that day, as she pops her head around the door, holding up a sticky note.

"Okay." Kono nods, before looking back at the list of cruise ship passengers, crosses out yet another name. "Have fun." She adds, tries to ignore the pang of jealousy in her belly.

"You don't want to come?" Lori asks, one eyebrow raising as Kono looks up at her.

"You know I'm tied to the desk." She sighs, scratches her head.

"Well, Steve's had to meet with the Governor, so Danny and I thought maybe you were up for some rule breaking?" Lori smiles, steps into the office.

"Is this a trick?" Kono narrows her eyes suspiciously, tries to read Lori's face.

"No, look, it's just a drop by to ask this guy a couple of questions. Nothing dangerous." Lori confesses. "Unless you're not feeling up to it, of course." She points to the bandage that was still wrapped around the top of Kono's arm.

"Hell yeah I am." Kono exclaims, grins and stands, grabbing her gun from the bottom drawer. "Lets go."

It didn't take long for Kono to fall in to step with Lori, to admit that she actually likes the new girl. She brought something new to the team, something Kono didn't think they needed until they had it. And it was nice to have another chick around the place, someone to back her up when the testosterone got too much, or Danny was on one of his rants, or someone just to talk about normal, mundane girl things whilst on a coffee break. It also helps that she's incredibly good at her job, and doesn't hesitate to answer Kono's questions, to teach her a few tricks she's learnt along the way, and even though she's got years of experience on Kono, she doesn't make her feel like the rookie.

"So how's the arm?" Lori asks as they pull up outside the small, wooden shack.

"It's a slow healer." Kono admits, unbuckling her belt and opening the door. "But it's fine as long as I don't make any sudden movements. The doctor says it should be reduced to scarring in a couple more of months."

"That sucks." Lori empathises, as they get out of the car and head up the paved path. "I got shot once, went straight through my calf – I couldn't walk on it for months, didn't get back to normal for years."

"I never knew that." Kono says as they skip up three wooden steps, cross the porch.

"Took some pretty extensive PT, but I was adamant about not using a cane." Lori laughs, as she raps her knuckles on the front door. "I've got a wicked scar."

"Man, I'm grateful this is just a flesh wound. It kills." Kono laughs, shaking her head, as Lori peers through the small side window. "Maybe he's not home." Kono muses when there's no answer, knocks again as Lori looks behind her. They hear a clatter inside the otherwise silent building, look at each other as if trying to read their minds, hands automatically reaching for the weapons holstered at their hips.

"Five-0! Open up." Lori calls, but they hear nothing but their own breathing.

"I'll go round back." Kono offers, jumps off the side of the porch. She treads carefully, steps over a discarded bicycle, dodged planks of wood with nails sticking out, can feel adrenaline pump through her veins as she pulls the gun out of its strap. She hears Lori bang on the door, this time more forcefully, announces Five-0 again. Kono recognises the sound of a screen door slamming before she sees their guy jump off the the rear porch, lands on his feet and locks eyes with Kono.

"Hey!" She yells, knows that panicked look; the wide eyes, the slack mouth, the way he takes in a sharp intake of air. He takes off before she can lift her gun to point at him, sprints to the bottom of his garden, hops over the 3ft fence. "We've got a runner!" She shouts to Lori, before taking off after their new suspect. "Stop! Five-0!" She barks as she jumps the same fence, feels a hot searing pain shoot through her arm, but she can't stop, she has to catch the guy so desperate to get away. She can't hear anything other than the whooshing of blood in her ears, the thud of each footfall as it pounds against the sidewalk, doesn't know if Lori heard her and is close behind, or if she's on her own. "Stop!" She shouts again as the perp dashes out into the road, narrowly misses a car, but doesn't falter, doesn't slow. Kono pushes her legs to work hard, move faster, can feel her lungs blaze as they cross another perfectly trimmed lawn, jump another fence, this time one taller than her that takes pure determination and gritted teeth to clear, because she's pretty sure her shoulder feels like it's been shot at again. He veers to the left, jumps a small wall, and Kono follows, tries not to slow, wonders how an easy stop by turned into a foot pursuit.

"Dammit." She groans to herself as she sees the gun in the waistband of his pants, notices the playground full of children across the street. "Stop running!" She orders, pants, as they cross a private drive way, neither slowing down, and she knows that he's heading straight for the park, because that's where she would run if there was a cop chasing her with a gun; cops had consciences, they aren't going to open fire with kids about. She takes off to the right, plans to cut him off before he realises she's not behind him. She runs down the side of another house, hopes she's right and her judgement hasn't changed, cuts across the back garden, leaps onto the ceramic table, grabs hold of the fence to volt herself over, angles her body so she lands on the perp as he runs past. They tumble to the ground, limbs wrapping around each other, her gun dropping from her hand and sliding across the grass, she lets out a loud gasp as her shoulder sends fire through her arm and her back. She forces her eyes to open, can't afford to wait for the grey spots to clear from her vision before she starts to search for her firearm. She spots it, begins to crawl towards it before the guy she'd forgotten the name of sees it too. But it's too late, because he has, and he's grabbed hold of her ankle, pulling her towards him as he scrambles to his feet. Kono twists, boots the guy in the abdomen, hard, sending him backwards. She rolls, pushes to her feet, starts towards the gun, but her shoulder hurts, slows her down, and then there's fire spreading through her scalp as she's yanked back by her pony tail. She jams an elbow backwards, hits just below the ribcage, knocks the air out of the assailant, spins on her feet as he releases his hold on her hair and punches him. Hard. He falls to the ground, crying about a broken nose, calling her a bitch, and she turns back to pick up her gun as she hears tyres screeching against asphalt. She holsters her piece, shoves the guy to the floor, pins him down with her knee in his back as she handcuffs his wrists.

"Kono!" Lori exclaims as she jumps out of the car, jogs over to her. "Are you okay?"

"What took you so long?" Kono pants, joking, as she pushes herself up. Winces when she tries to move her injured arm.

"Thought I'd let you take the lead." Lori snorts, before screwing her face up and pointing to Kono's arm. "Looks like it hurts."

And it hadn't until then; not compared to the new pain searing through her body, as the adrenaline recedes. She breathes through gritted teeth, holds her arm to her side, can feel the warmth as blood saturates the dressing and then the sleeve of her shirt.

"Fuck." She groans, as Lori pulls the runner to his feet, pushes him towards the car.

"Need a hospital?" Lori asks, and Kono can see she's already regretting the decision to let her come along, and she doesn't want that, so she shakes her head, forces a smile past the pain.

"I'm good. Just stings a little." She lies, starts for the car. "Let's get him back to HQ."

"Okay." Lori nods, begins to read their guy his rights.

When they get back to HQ, Steve's waiting for them, leaning against the smart table, arms crossed, face dark and stormy. Danny ducks into his office with Chin, their face's sheepish, and Lori shoots a quick apologetic smile to Kono.

"I've got this, if you want." Lori offers, but Kono shakes her head, because it was her decision to go just as much as Lori's.

"Let's just get it over with." Kono breathes. Steve pushes off the table as they both approach him, cautiously. His nostrils flare and eyes narrow.

"I want to see you in my office, Kono." He orders, voice low and dangerous.

"Steve, I just want to say it's my fault..." Lori interjects, but is cut off.

"Now, Kono." He commands, before he marches for the room, doesn't look back. Lori reaches up, squeezes Kono's good arm for reassurance.

"Wish me luck." She whispers, mainly to herself, before taking a deep breath and following after her Boss.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry this one is so short guys, but what we have written for the next part needs a lot of work doing to it, and AP is going away for the weekend, and I'm out all day tomorrow, so I can't promise that either of us can put the work into it for tomorrow's update. She says I can edit and post, so I may put a little more up, if I feel comfortable doing it without her looking over it too. If it doesn't go up tomorrow though, we promise the next one will either be super long or 2 chapters in one day! **

**Hope you all have a good weekend!**

**GB & AP xo**

* * *

**The Other Side**

**(4)**

_'The only way out of a labyrinth of suffering, is to forgive'_

_- John Green_

Steve paces, his muscles flex, lips pressed together, nostril flare and eyes narrow. He glances at Kono, briefly, as he runs a hand up through his hair, dishevelling it. She doesn't move, doesn't step further into the room, because the door is right behind her, an easy escape. She waits, doesn't dare speak, swallows against a painfully dry throat, cradles her injured arm against her, fights back a groan as her biceps flex, irritating already blazing skin, can't afford to show her weakness now.

She's reminded of that day, when he paced before her, angry, betrayed, disgusted by her. He's a lion, and she feels like his prey, like she's ready for him to pounce on her, break her, rip her apart and discard her stripped carcass. She sucks in a lungful of cold air, releases it slowly, repeats. She jumps as Steve stops in his tracks, rips his badge from his belt, tosses it on the desk; the only thing in between them, keeping her safe, a barrier. His eyes lock onto hers, pin her to the spot she's standing, and even if she wants to, she can't look away. She can't move, can feel the hairs on the back of her neck prickle, stand on end, as he opens his mouth, ready to shout, but she's shaking, despite the Hawaiian heat, and he snaps it closed again. He takes a deep breath, rubs his hand over his face, over rough stubble, tries again.

"Let me ask you something." He growls, his voice low and controlled. "Which part of 'desk duties' did you struggle to understand?" Kono isn't sure if it's a trick, is he really wants a response, because he's just staring at her, one hand at his hip, thumb hooked over his gun, the other suspended mid-air, pointing at her.

"Uh..." Kono sounds, is quickly silenced as Steve continues over her, telling her it wasn't her question to answer.

"Because I am having difficulty grasping a good enough excuse for you to completely disobey a direct order." Steve leans forward on his desk, the muscles in his arm defined, stretching the sleeve of his blue polo shirt, and Kono's remembers that look, that posture, hopes he doesn't notice the way her body seems to be vibrating, cold and aching. Her head pounds, jaw feels sore from her jumping-tackle, arm burns, legs ache, nausea grips her stomach.

"I'm sorry." She utters, swallows, trying to lubricate her throat, winces as dry tonsils clash. She rubs at her injured arm, tries to smooth goose-pimpled skin, swallows again as a fresh wave of nausea tries to drown her.

"Oh, you're sorry." Steve cheers, hands flying in the air, and he nods. "Well, that just makes everything all right, then, doesn't it?" He snorts, and Kono can detect the sarcasm. If it were under any other circumstance, if Kono didn't feel so crappy and Steve wasn't so pissed, she'd make a joke about how Danny was rubbing off on Steve, even if he'd never admit it. "_I'm sorry_ is not going to cut it, Kono." He continues, voice louder. "You willingly put the life of another team mate in danger today. If something had happened, if Lori needed back up, you couldn't have provided it."

"But _I_ was the one needing back up! I was the one that chased the perp two blocks and tackled him to the ground! I was the one that arrested him and confiscated his weapon!" Kono argues, because she'd felt good about being out in the field, until they'd come back to HQ, had talked non stop in the car, had felt the buzz she missed so badly.

"You are in no fit state to be out there, in the field, wielding a damn _gun, _Kono! For Christ's sake, I thought I'd taught you better than this!" Steve exclaims, his hand running through his hair again.

"_You_ gave me my weaponback." Kono retorts, kneads her knuckles along her aching forearm, clenches her teeth as white hot pain causes her biceps to spasm. Her skin feels hot, but she's so cold, her skin damp with sweat. Her teeth begin to chatter, despite her attempts to grit them tight, and she wonders who the Hell turned the AC up so high.

"Jesus, you could have been injured, or worse, killed!" Steve roars, his eyes wild, breathes heavy, and Kono is reminded of the lion again. But this time he's different; she isn't sure how, because he's still as intimidating, still sends shivers down her spine, still makes her feel powerless against him, but it's almost as if he's not mad about what she's done, but who she is.

"But I wasn't." She points out. "We had a runner, and I took care of it."

"He had a gun!" Steve yells, but Kono wont flinch, wont back down, wont let him have the power over her – not again.

"I was doing my job." She says simply, shrugs her good shoulder.

"It's not your job to go behind my back, Kono." Steve says, his voice calmer, but the fire in his eyes hasn't dimmed.

"I wouldn't have to go behind your back if you just trusted me!" She exclaims, and then she realises what she's said, that she can't take her words back, regrets them, a hand flies to her mouth.

"What?" Steve's caught off guard, his eyes widen, there's no animosity or anger, the fire extinguishes. "You think I don't trust you?" Quiet, almost a whisper, confused, puzzled.

"I know you don't." Kono shakes her head, wish she hadn't as brain rattles and dizziness hits. "Because if I was Danny, you'd have had me back out there chasing the bad guys by now."

"Kono..."

"No, Boss, it's okay." Kono holds her hand up, takes a step towards the office door. She doesn't want to have this conversation, doesn't feel ready, and her arm is killing her, her brain is banging against skull. "I need to get cleaned up." She directs to the arm, takes another step on shaky legs, can hear her heart thrumming in her ears, she can't stop the shakes, feels boiling hot but can't warm up, and nothing makes any sense.

"Are you all right?" She hear Steve ask, and he's far away but right next to her, all around her. She blinks, her vision blurs, head throbs painfully, and it's hard to breathe.

"I, uh..." She forces out, but her arm is on fire and she looks for the flames, but there's nothing, just red. She's boneless, her world tipping on it's axis, and she's falling, bile climbing her throat. There's buzzing, loud buzzing, fading in and out, like radio static, and every thing is grey, blending into one, before she gives up and sinks into blackness.

* * *

**P.S. Thank you to everyone who voice their opinions on where this story should go - so far friendship is winning over McKono (yay for me)! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, so here's part 5 - we decided we needed to post something because next week is going to be hectic for the both of us. We think there are only two or three more chapters to go out now, depending on length etc. **

**So far, we're at an even number of votes for canon vs mckono so still undecided on how it's going to end. **

**Hope you all enjoy this instalment. **

**Please read and review! I know I haven't personally thanked each review – but they do spur us on to continue and appreciate each and every one. **

**So Mahalo.**

**GB & AP xox**

* * *

**The Other Side**

**(5)**

_'They always say time changes things, _

_but you actually have to _

_change them yourself'_

_-Andy Warhol_

The first time Kono wakes, she's vaguely aware of voices buzzing around her, calm but fast, an organised chaos. Machines ring out of sync, something squeezes her arm, tight, then when it releases, there's another round of beeping, rapid and loud; an alarm. She feels people palpating her hand, poking her arm, fire under fingertips, and there's something cold pressed on her chest, under her breast. She forces open her eyes, but everything blurs into one, the world spins but she doesn't. There's a face above her, looking down, coaxing her, reassuring her, but the features blend together, the voice muffles and then the promise of peace lures her into empty nothingness.

The second time Kono wakes, there's nothing to pull her from the calm; no noise, no bustle, no hot and cold and everything in between. She doesn't open her eyes, because she's tired, so tired, and lets herself slip back into the promise of painless oblivion.

The third time is less of a wakening, more of a slow realisation that she's attached to a body, that her mind is fluttering behind closed lids, that something other than dreams and memories wait for her. There's a low, persistent hum, somewhat familiar, behind her, above her, all around her. She tries to focus her cotton mind, to decipher each thrum, but it's too inconsistent, radio static fading in and out. Her mind wanders, training or instinct or _something_ kicking in, does a mental pat down of her body, assessing the situation in a way she's sure McGarrett would be proud of, pushes through the fog clouding her brain. She's surprised, and slightly confused, to find her body seems to be okay; she has no problem wriggling her toes, can move her ankles and there's no pain in her legs. She pulls in her abdomen, tests her muscles and they pass with flying colours. Her fingers, whilst stiff, move without pain, too, and she slowly moves up her arms, joint by joint; fingers, wrists, elbow, shoulder. She winces. Ah, there it is; a stab of pain shoots from the top of her arm, through to her shoulder blade, spreads under collar bone. She groans; can't stop the noise escaping from her mouth, is caught off guard as it vibrates from her throat.

The static murmur moves closer, louder, and as Kono puts more effort, more energy, into understanding it, recognisable sounds filter through the crackle. There's a firm warmth on her left hand, another brushes the top of her head, rests at her crown, and she feels her face slip into a frown.

"Kono?" Soft and inviting, a voice she knows as well as her own, coaxes her to move towards the surface. She reaches out, grasps at each word floating around her, pushes harder. "You with us, Cuz?" Chin; she pins a name to the sound, uses it to anchor her.

_Eyes. Open your eyes._

She tries to lift her lids, fails when she finds them heavier than she expected, but she isn't going to let that beat her. She tries again, puts more effort into it, has never really realised how much energy goes into such a instinctual act until now, isn't ready for the light above her, slams her lids closed again. She feels the warmth on her hand squeeze her fingers, gently, whilst the warmth on her head leaves, and there's the sound of metal squeaking; a dry hinge folding in. She takes a breath, tries again, this time easing them open, allowing her eyes to gradually adjust. It takes a moment, a relatively long one, for her to register what she's seeing; Chin standing next to her, smiling – a comforting thing – and she's propped up in bed. Although the room is dark, it's not hard to recognise it as a private room at Queen's Medical Centre; the walls are darker than white, perhaps a mint green or light blue, faintly highlighted by the artificial glow of the over hanging light folded in to face the wall; the owner of the squeaky hinge. The blinds are pulled back, but the sun is no longer in the sky; the only light outside are street lights and the occasional late night driver on the freeway.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Chin asks, his face soft and full of affection, squeezes her hand again; to reassure her or himself, Kono isn't sure. She blinks, tries to clear the thick haze smothering her, tries to form a coherent sentence.

"Uh..." Her voice reverberates through to bone, brain pounds against skull, pressure threatens to split her head open and blow out her eyes. Her body, though, feels good, bar her arm; that aches like a bitch, feels heavy, as if someone has cored her bones and replaced marrow for cement, but the fire has dimmed and been replaced with an uncomfortable warmth. "Fine." She settles for, as her left hand reaches up, scratches at the tape on her face, fingers trace plastic piping along her cheekbone to her nose; a nasal cannula. She spots the IV catheter in the back of her hand, the white plastic used to tape it in place catches the corner of her eye, and she frowns, tries to make sense of it, follows the line up to the hanging bag of yellowish fluid. She shifts to get comfortable on the hard mattress, the starchy sheets crunch, the flat pillow slips, and she remembers that she hates hospitals. "What happened?" She forces past dry lips, flicks her tongue over chapped skin, tries to swallow to lubricate her tonsils. Happily accepts the cup of water Chin's holding out for her, downs it on one despite feeling sick to her stomach.

"You fainted in Steve's office this morning. Don't you remember?" Chin asks, and Kono frowns, is sure her face may slip right off, tries to recall being back at work, watches as Chin's eyes glance up, towards the far wall, and Kono follows his line of sight. In the shadows, she can barely make him out, stood against the wall, arms folded across his chest, face tense; Steve. She tears her eyes away from him, looks back at her Cousin, isn't sure why but feels she should lie.

"Right, yeah. We were discussing the case and I came over funny." She shrugs her good shoulder.

"I should go and get the doctor to explain, but long story short, you had a pretty bad infection in that arm of yours." Chin says, his voice hushed, soothing her, and she nods one, leans her head back and closes her eyes. "I should probably go and fetch the doctor. She wanted to know when you woke again."

"Again?" Kono looks up at Chin, doesn't really recall waking before, wonders if they'd already spoken about this.

"You stirred briefly after the surgery, but slipped back under pretty quick. I'll go and page Doctor Knight, okay?" Smiles when Kono nods. "Don't go anywhere." He jokes, then nods once to Steve before leaving, slips out of the room almost silently.

Kono shifts again, can feel his eyes on her, wonders if she should speak to him, if she has anything to say, if she even wants to say it. She settles for closing her eyes instead, hoping he wont move or speak until Chin returns. She has no such luck though, because even with her untrained ears, she can hear his heavy boots on the tiled flooring, approaching her, slowly, as if cautious. She can feel him, like he's right next to her, her hair stands on end, she struggles to keep her breathing slow, normal. When he doesn't say anything for a few seconds, she gets impatient, opens her eyes to see him watching her from the end of the bed, brow furrowed, hands gripping the foot board, knuckles white. He takes a breath in, seems to hold it longer than necessary, before it huffs out.

"I'm glad you're okay." He says, faintly, and Kono tries to get a read on him, tries to crack his expression; dark and twisty and something else entirely different.

"Me too." She says lamely, makes a sound she hoped would sound like an easy laugh, but sounds more like she's choking, bites her lip to stop herself.

"You lied to Chin." He points out, doesn't sound accusing, just factual.

"Yeah well, couldn't tell him I fainted whilst you were giving me the third degree." Kono tries to joke, but there's no humour, no trace of a smile on McGarrett's lips.

"Kono, I'm sorry..."

"No, Boss, it's fine. I stepped out of line, I deserved it." She cuts him off, shakes her head slowly so she doesn't rattle her insides and begin to leak grey matter.

"No, that's not what I mean..." Steve starts, unfolding his arms, but stops when the door opens and Chin returns, followed by a doctor Kono's sure she's met before. She casts her eyes back to Steve briefly, just long enough to catch him stepping back into the shadows, blinks and then turns to greet the doctor.

"Good evening, Miss Kalakaua. I'm Doctor Knight." The small, middle aged woman smiles, her British accent loud against the silent room, as she holds the left hand out for Kono to shake – feels backwards but there's no chance Kono was going to try and move her right arm just yet. "It's good to see you awake. How are you feeling?"

"Good." Kono lies, because she knows how this works, knows that if there's any chance of her being released any time soon, she needs to downplay the way her brain is trying to escape through her eyes, that her arm needs to be amputated, or something.

"That's what I like to hear." Dr Knight nods, pulls Kono's chart from its holder at the end of her bed, flicks through the sheets of paper during a moment of silence. "It looks like your blood pressure has returned to normal. I'll have a nurse pop in when we're done to take another reading, just to be sure." She informs, putting the chart back and pulling her stethoscope from around her neck. "May I?" She nods to Kono's chest, and Kono nods, her eyes flicking up to Steve again, hopes her heart has calmed somewhat. Dr Knight moves swiftly, places the cold metal disk under Kono's scratchy hospital gown, listens as more seconds tick by. "That all sounds perfect." She smiles as she takes a step back, hooks the scope back around her neck. "Has anyone explained to you what happened, dear?"

"No, I don't think so. I mean, I don't remember anyone coming in to me, so..."

"Okay, that's fine, we've been pretty swamped tonight, so I'll run over it with you now." The doctor smiles, pats Kono's hand gently. "All right, so you had quite a deep wound to the inside of your right arm. I understand it was a gunshot wound?"

"Yeah, it was just a graze." Kono nods, uses the term she's heard Danny and Steve use too many times for her to count – mainly to describe Danny's latest unfortunate mishap.

"I thought so." She nods, before continuing. "Well, it was healing properly; the sutures were beginning to dissolve and the lesion was sealed as we would expect. The problem, though, was behind that new seal was an abscess. I read in your medical file that you were prescribed some antibiotic cream to apply? Were you using that?"

"Uh, yeah, but I ran out. The infection had cleared, so I didn't feel the need to get any more prescribed."

"That's what I'd suspected. The infection maybe have reduced a substantial amount, enough so it wasn't visible to the naked eye, which is why at all of the check-ups, it wasn't picked up. But what has happened, is a small amount of the infection has remained in the tissue, below the wound, and because the lesion healed so quickly, and so well, there was nowhere for the puss to drain. What that means is because there was nowhere for it to go, it just sat there and eventually formed an abscess. Which means that you've been downplaying your pain level, because if you hadn't it wouldn't have got this far." The doctor raises an eyebrow, challenging Kono to deny it, but she can't. "Well, after the recent trauma to the old wound, the abscess burst, which means all of the fluid was free to enter your system. Luckily for you, you also managed to tear the skin, so most of it was able to drain out of the wound. Some didn't, however, which is what made you so sick – think of the fluid being a poison that's leaked into your system. But this is where I come in with the good news; I took you into surgery, and managed to irrigate your wound to remove the remaining fluid and debrided any affected or dead tissue, okay?"

"Ew." Kono breathes, screwing her face up in distaste. "That's so gross." The evokes a soft chuckle from Chin and the doctor, lightens the atmosphere some.

"So now we come to the after care. We've opted to pack your wound with a sterile ribbon dressing, instead of suturing the wound closed. This allows the body to heal from the inside out, rather than the typical way of outside in. It just prevents any more infectious material from getting stuck in there again, if there's anything left. This means that you need to have a daily dressing change, here at the hospital outpatient clinic, every day for at least a week. We have you on IV antibiotics at the moment, but now that you're awake, I'll see to it that you have that removed once the bag has emptied and put onto an oral medication; nobody likes being connected to a machine." Dr. Knight smiles. "I'll also see to it that you have adequate pain relief, but your arm should start to heal quickly, and the pain should be better than it was this time yesterday."

"It is." Kono nods honestly. "Thank you."

"Do you have any questions for me?"

"Yeah, when can I go home?" Kono asks, is aware she probably sounds a little desperate, but she really hates hospitals, would much rather be at home watching crappy daytime TV, or even better, back at the office doing some work.

"I thought that would be your first question." Dr Knight laughs, heads around to the IV pump and presses a couple of buttons. "You still have three hours left on this bag; there's no point stopping it half way through, and I'd really like to just keep an eye on you for the next few hours – just normal post-op obs. I'll say, if everything continues to look this good and your arm really does feel better, than we'll look at discharging you in the morning _if_ you have someone that you can either go and stay with, or they come and stay with you."

"I can look after myself." Kono bristles, feels like she's being treated like a child.

"I'm sure you can, but you're going to need someone to help you out for a few days; your arm will be in a sling to ensure you're resting it properly, and the anaesthetic can stay in your system for up to 72 hours, meaning you are still vulnerable. So either you stay in the hospital, or we can release you into someone else's care."

"Okay, well I can stay with you, right Cuz?" Kono turns to Chin, pleads with her eyes, knows he struggles to say no to her.

"Sure." He accepts immediately, steps forward. "I have some contractors in fixing my roof and redoing my kitchen..."

"I'm sorry, Lieutenant, but that's not a suitable environment for someone with an open wound. Even with the dressings on, she's still susceptible to dust particles and other debris." The doctor says apologetically. "Miss Kalakaua, you're going to need to stay somewhere that's not under any construction, that's clean with no pets..."

"Steve, what about you? I mean, you have no pets and you are practically OCD with your place, there's not a speck of dust." Chin speaks up, looks to the figure standing in the far corner, shadows masking him.

"Uh, no." Kono shakes her head, feels awkward, can't believe Chin would suggest something so ludicrous.

"I'll leave you to think about it." The doctor says to Kono, before turning to the other two. "I'm afraid visiting hours are over, Gentlemen. Miss Kalakaua needs to get some rest."

"Of course, thank you Doctor." Chin smiles, holds his hand out to Dr Knight, who accepts it appreciatively, before nodding to Kono and leaving the room.

"We'll come by tomorrow and sort something out." Chin promises Kono, before leaning over and planting a soft kiss on her forehead. "Get some sleep, okay?"

"I'll try." Kono mumbles, shifting to try and get comfortable. "See you tomorrow." As Chin heads for the door. Steve follows, stops briefly at the end of her bed.

"'Night then." He utters, softly, before heading after Chin.

Kono turns the lights out, tries to get comfortable but her arm aches and the other hand is limited for positioning whilst it's still attached to the IV line. She closes her eyes, allows herself to drift off into an uneasy sleep, full of guns, bullets and piercing blue eyes.

...

The sun rises at 6am; Kono gets out of bed to watch the sky turn from black to orange to blue, wishes she could be on the beach, digging her toes into the warm sand, feel the waves crash around her ankles, submerging her feet in cool, clear water. The doctor had been true to her word; a nurse had disturbed her around 1am, removed the IV line and then the catheter in her hand, and much to her approval, she could remove the annoying nasal cannula, too. Her blood pressure was holding steady, a good sign that the antibiotics were working and her body healing. She'd changed from the thin hospital gown at 4am, felt much better in her own tank top and jeans, even if they weren't the most comfortable to sleep in. Not that it mattered, because once she was awake, she struggled to drift back off, haunted by memories and things that could have been.

"Good morning." Chin's voice, quiet but clear, makes Kono jump. She spins around, turns from the window, to see his head poking around the door, and then he's in the room, carrying a paper bag and a coffee cup. "Brought you breakfast."

"Thanks." Kono grins, adjusts the sling around her neck so the knot doesn't press into her neck. "Hospital coffee sucks." She complains, sips at the good stuff Chin's brought her, closes her eyes and savours the flavour.

"You look better than yesterday." He says, perches on the edge of the bed.

"I feel better. Are you here to pick me up?" She lets the hope seep into her voice, praying that Chin hears it.

"Sorry, Cuz. Steve's gonna swing by later, after his swim, okay?" He offers an apologetic smile, then pulls a small box from the paper bag, holds it out for her to take. "I brought coco-puffs though."

"Steve doesn't need to go out of his way." Kono shakes her head, puts the coffee down so she can pull a coco-puff free from the box. Sinks her teeth into the chocolatey, buttery goodness, can't help but moan as pleasure fires through her taste buds. "I can ask Danny?"

"Danny's got Grace this weekend, is taking her to swim with the dolphins on Maui." Chin explains, shaking his head, and Kono sighs because she was hoping she could use her puppy dog eyes on the blonde detective, feels bummed Chin beat her to it.

"Why don't you just go home?" Chin asks, and Kono knows he is referring to her parents. She shakes her head, because that's not an option.

"Can't. They still aren't talking to me. I disgraced their name." Kono sighs, chews the inside of her lip to stop herself from tearing up as she thinks of her parents. She's already thrown that option out the window. She had to face it, she was on her own for this one, her options limited to the hospital or staying with the one person she didn't want to be stuck with, because he obviously didn't want to be stuck with her.

_He didn't rush to offer._ She thinks, remembers him being here last night, how he hadn't interjected when Chin had offered out his spare room. She wonders if her friendship level had reached a good enough point to ask Lori, but then pushes the thought back almost as quickly as it had come to her.

"I'll think of something." She says, mainly to herself, looks down as she picks at the pastry in her hand.

"You don't need to." Chin says, and Kono snaps her eyes onto him. "Like I said, Steve said he'll swing by this morning."

"You've arranged for me to stay with the Boss?" Kono exclaims, aware her voice is louder than it should be, almost drops her coco-puff.

"Look, Kono. I know how much you hate this place, hate any hospital. And I know right now that you hate Steve. But you're just going to have to chose which one you hate the least, and go with it." Chin says, his reasoning cutting through to Kono.

"I don't hate him." She says, barely above a whisper, wants to say that he's the one that hates her, but can't, opts for a long, drawn out sigh instead. "Okay. Fine. I'll get the discharge paper work started."

"Thought you would." Chin smiles, getting up from Kono's bed. "I've got to head into the office, I'm covering for Steve today."

"Covering?" Kono asks for clarification, doesn't understand.

"Yeah, Steve's taking the day off to watch over you." Chin shrugs, and Kono frowns. That doesn't make sense to her at all. She doesn't reply, too confused to find words. "I'll see you later, okay? I'll drop by the house tonight."

"Okay." Kono forces out, her voice quiet. Chin gives her a quick peck on the cheek, tells her to take care of herself, and then leaves. Kono forgets to thank him for the food and drink, but then, she can't think of anything right now, other than trying to find a way to get through the next few days.

**H50**

Kono remembers each and every time Danny has confessed to falling asleep on Steve's couch, and each time he promised that, even though it's leather and squeaks each time you move, it's the comfiest couch he'd ever slept on – and he's slept on a few. Kono has to admit that she agrees with him.

She can hear the waves crashing against the shore – a sound that's better therapy to her than her actual therapy session – and the smell of bacon wafts under her nose, enticing her back to consciousness, rousing her from the drug induced sleep. The morphine knocks her out pretty well, but her arm is barely sore, so she figures a couple of hours of drowsiness was worth it. Kono opens her eyes, looks up at the wooden rafters, feels a little disorientated, tries to remember where she is and why, starts to panic when she can't, and then relief pounds her when she recognises the rest of the living room.

Steve had stuck to his word, had swung by the hospital to pick her up around ten, signed the discharge paperwork and even convinced the doctor that he was trained well enough to do the dressing changes himself, so Kono didn't have to remember the times of any appointments. The car ride had been quiet, neither offering any words; Steve driving in silence, his hands held tight on the wheel, and Kono staring out the side window, watching trees and people as they whiz by. She hadn't expected much in the way of conversation – it hadn't exactly flowed easily between them much lately – but the longer she sat there, waiting for him to say something, the harder it got for her to think of something to say, too. He'd pulled up on the driveway, turned the ignition off, and they just sat there, the tension in the air thick enough they could have cut it with a knife. After a few uncomfortable seconds, Kono had turned to him, looked at him – really looked. His eyes were red, shadowed and heavy, hair in need of a haircut, he was getting a good start on a beard, and he looked tired. No, not tired, exhausted.

"Thanks for the ride." She'd said, kicked herself for sounding so lame, her quiet voice loud in the small space between them. "And for, you know, taking me in." He'd looked at her then, offered her a one of his trademark smiles, before opening his door.

"No problem." He replied, and got out of the truck, closed the door before hurrying around to Kono's side and helping her out so she didn't have to use the arm in her sling.

Kono sits up, adjusts the sling around her neck, already sick of it, and rubs her hand over her face. She doesn't know what time it is, doesn't recall falling asleep, doesn't know how long she was out for. The sound of soft singing is coming from somewhere in the house; it's a tune she doesn't know, words she's never heard, but it's a beautiful melody, reminds her of a lullaby. She gets up, sways a little – still a little foggy from the painkillers – and heads towards the back of the house, where she knows the kitchen is. She's slow on her feet, unsure if she should disturb Steve whilst he's in there, but she continues anyway; soft skin against hard wood. She reaches the doorway, can't bring herself to step inside, watches as Steve stands with his back to her, a cloth thrown over his shoulder, tending to a pan on the stove. It's an odd sight for Kono, a side of Steve she hasn't seen before; it doesn't count when he's thrown a steak on the BBQ, because Danny's always insisted he took over before his 'control freak partner' over cooked them, or something. She watches Steve tip the bacon on a plate with some eggs, then toss the pan in the sink. He jumps, spins on his feet, and Kono steps back, holds her hands up in innocence, feels like she's been caught spying on the boys locker room.

"I'm sorry." She spills out, expects him to start shouting about personal space and privacy, but his body relaxes, his face softens, offers a lopsided smile and Kono's sure she can see the faintest of pink blooming on his cheeks.

"It's fine." He shakes his head, turns to grab the plate of food, and he's back to normal when he turns back, as if he was never caught. "I made you some food."

"Uh, thanks." She says, steps into the kitchen, fiddles with the fabric of the sling. She hadn't thought about food, cant remember the last time she actually ate, but the eggs look delicious and the bacon is crispy – just the way she likes it – and her mouth is watering. She sits at the kitchen table, grabs the fork and tucks right in, barely breathes between mouthfuls, looks up to see Steve watching, feels embarrassed. "Sorry." She says again, and then wants to kick herself because she doesn't know why she's apologising, why she feels so uncomfortable in this house when she's visited numerous times before, why she feels so uncomfortable with him.

"So, how do you feel?" Steve asks, sits opposite her, arms folded across his chest, watching. Kono puts the fork down, too self conscious to continue eating, rests back in her seat.

"Groggy." She answers honestly, plays with the sling again. "Thanks for letting me stay."

"Beats hospital, right?"

"Better food." Kono nods, smiles.

"I'll go and set up Mary's old room..."

"Oh, no, it's okay Boss, I'll just take the couch."

"Kono..."

"It's okay, honestly. Danny's right; it is super comfy." Steve watches her, eyes tracing every line in her face, searches her eyes, then sighs.

"All right." He nods. "If you're sure."

"I am."

"I need to head back into the office." Steve says, but doesn't make any effort to move, and Kono wants to squirm, to dodge away from the eyes that never leave hers. "There's been a break through with the case."

"Oh, can I come?" She asks, knows the answer but it's worth a try. Steve seems to ponder the question, as if weighing up the pros and cons.

"Sorry, Kono. You heard the doctors orders." He stands, and she looks up at him, swallows hard. "I've rented out a few Law&Order box sets, so you don't get bored."

"Oh, thanks." Kono says, can't remember ever telling him about her obsession with the TV series that's nothing like real life, but she loves it anyway.

"I'll be back tonight, I don't know what time. Help yourself to anything in the fridge, but I haven't been grocery shopping in a while, so there's not much. And there are some blankets in the linen cupboard..."

"I'll be fine, Boss. I'll probably just hang on the beach or watch some TV." She insists, and he frowns, takes a deep breath, stares at her for a moment longer, and then leaves, without saying good bye, or waving, or anything.


	6. Chapter 6

**Here's chapter 6! Hope you enjoy it! Thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed so far, it means a ton! We've opted to stick to the original series plot line, but as a compromise, I promised to work on a McKono fic for AP...which will be something I've never done before! So keep an eye out for that one! **

**Thanks again. **

**GB xox**

**The Other Side**

**(6)**

_'One of the most courageous decisions you will ever make_

_is to finally let go of whatever is hurting your heart and soul'_

Kono stares down the barrel of the gun, her heart quickening, stomach clenches, threatening to empty it's contents. She forces her eyes up, feels the panic rise from deep inside, edges its way through her body, tightens her chest.

"Please, Frank, let me explain." She begs, her voice bouncing around the small interrogation room as dim lights flicker, a cold draught skims across the back of her neck, makes her shiver.

"You lied to me, Kono." Delano sneers, begins to circle around her; a shark circling it's dinner. "You set me up."

"I had no choice." Kono insists, tries to take a step forward, but her feet wont work.

"Oh, you had a choice, Kono." Her captor laughs, an empty sound, sends chills through to Kono's bones. "You're a dirty cop and a dirty crook. No one's going to want you now. You're nothing."

"No." Kono shakes her head, looks down at blood stained hands, feels the weight of his words, knows she believes them.

"You let me down, Kono. And you know what I do to people that let me down." Frank jibes, stops in front of her, raises the gun, points it at her head, in between her eyes. Kono feels sick, she can't breathe. Her eyes cast around the small, grey room, desperate to find a way out, but there are no doors. Her eyes fall on the man in the shadows, can barely make out his figure in the darkness, but she knows those eyes, those bright blue, piercing eyes.

"Steve." She pleads, desperate, her voice barely above a whisper. "Please, help me." She begs, louder this time, but he doesn't move, just stands watching her, leant against the wall with his arms folded and ankles crossed. "Please." She tries, screaming this time, can feel tears roll down her cheeks, and then Delano sighs, pulls the trigger.

Kono bolts upright, unsure if it was her nightmare or her screams that have woken her. She's drenched in a cold sweat, goosebumps cover her body, tears roll down her cheeks, and she can't catch a breath. Terror washes over her as she tries to remember where she is, why she's here, slowly begins to dull the fear when she recognises that armchair, that painting hanging above the television, the wooden ceiling and rafters. Her hand shakes as she reaches for the glass of water on the coffee table, recognises the orange pill pot, remembers taking her med's before drifting off to sleep on Steve's couch.

The television is still on, playing the music of the DVD menu over and over, casts a subtle glow over the otherwise dark house. She wonders if her screams have woken Steve, if he's heard her crying in her sleep, waits for his head to pop over the banister and ask her if she's okay. But there's no movement, the house is silent, and Kono can't remember hearing him come home, and figures he must have been dog tired to sleep through her night terrors, figures it's some super SEAL training that's taught him to sleep regardless of the noises around him.

Her arm aches, the dull throb pulsing through her shoulder blade, under her clavicle, wonders when it's going to start to feel better. Can't believe it's only been a few hours since leaving the hospital. She reaches over and checks the time on her cell; it's 3am, too early to get up and go for her run, to use the adrenaline as a natural painkiller; emotionally and physically. Instead, she takes two more of the drugs, settles back on the couch and presses play on the DVD remote. For the second time, Kono misses the end of her favourite episode.

When she wakes again, there are no screams or tears, no sense of panic. Her eyelids slowly flutter open, a peaceful waking, eyes quickly adjust to the warm sunlight streaming through the curtains. She stretches out cramped legs, arches her back and lifts her arms above her head to stretch them out. Winces when she forgets about her injury, eases herself up.

Listens.

The house is still quiet, the only sound is that of the waves crashing against the shore, the repetitive music of the DVD menu, the loud tick-tocking of the clock in the study. She gets up, flicks the TV off, casts her eyes around the room. Everything looks the same as the night before; there are no boots by the front door, no keys or wallet, no phone on charge. Kono can't believe she's slept well enough for Steve to sneak in, let alone for him to go back off to work. She hopes she isn't making Steve feel uncomfortable in his own house, like he needs to sneak around so he doesn't wake her.

She wanders into the kitchen, pulls open the fridge, her stomach growling. Isn't surprised to find it empty, bar a block of cheese that looks like it should be in a hazardous materials bag, and a carton of milk that went out of date three days ago. She moves to the cupboards, mouth doesn't water when she only finds several ration packs and a few cans of baked beans. She's pretty sure she'd have to be dying of starvation before she was tempted to try those for breakfast. She moves back into the living room, checks the time on her phone; it's 8am. There's not going to be any stores open just yet, but she has time to go for a run. She doesn't have her running shoes, but that's not a problem if she opts to run along the beach; which is she does, goes barefooted. It's not until she's halfway through her run that she begins to wonder if Steve even came home at all last night.

The run takes more out of her than she thought it would, even before, with the infection, she was able to run for longer, faster, can only put it down to the drugs affecting her body. She grabs a towel from the linen cupboard, heads upstairs to the bathroom, feels a little uncomfortable because she's never been up here before, almost feels like she's invading Steve's privacy.

The bathroom is small, has a bath with overhead shower, toilet and sink, like most bathrooms. There are hand towels folded neatly over a rail, a bar of soap still in it's wrapper on the side of the sink, a travel sized shampoo and conditioner bottle on the side of the bath, still sealed, unopened. Kono wonders if he'd done it for her, or if it's just there anyway, because she can tell from the lack of products that this isn't the bathroom Steve uses, concludes that he must have his own.

The water is hot, relaxes tense muscles and eases the ache from pushing them on her run. She's learnt how to angle her body, keep from getting her wound wet, can wash her hair and body without drenching her dressings. She doesn't know how long she spends in the shower, but it's long enough for her skin to wrinkle and the water to turn cold. Her stomach grumbles again, is close to being painfully hungry. Steve still isn't home, and she doesn't have her car, but she's pretty sure she remembers a grocery store a few miles up the road. She gets dressed, carefully ties her wet hair up into a ponytail before shoving her arm back in the sling, heads downstairs and grabs her wallet from the coffee table before heading out the front door; the walk will do her good.

She's hot and sweat glistens on her skin when she finally reaches the store. It's not far, but the medication she's taking is affecting her body, the drug weighs her down, tires her out. She grabs a shopping cart from outside, wheels it through the sliding doors, feels a little disappointed when she realises it's smaller than it looked from outside. She moves to the vegetable rack at the back of the store, takes the only carrots, potatoes and onions there, before heading to the freezer aisle. She doesn't know much about cooking, but figures she can work out how to cook a simple chicken, so she takes one of those, grabs for a few steaks too. She wanders idly up and down aisles, isn't sure what to buy, what Steve eats. Stops at the potato chip aisle, fills her cart with 3 bags of cheeto's and 2 bags of buttered popcorn, moves to the drinks chiller, takes a six pack of beer and some cans of cola before heading for the elderly Hawaiian native stood at the checkout counter.

"Aloha awakea." He greets, smiles warmly as Kono reaches the till, starts to empty the cart onto the counter.

"Aloha." She returns, offers him a smile, as he begins to scan each product and put them in a paper bag for her.

"You have an accident?" He points to the sling and Kono nods.

"Something like that." She says. "I got shot."

"Oh." The cashier, Koa, looks at her, eyes wide, hand paused over her groceries.

"I'm a cop." Kono elaborates, because she doesn't like the way he's looking at her; like she could be a gun-wielding criminal. "It was on the job." Watches as his face visibly relaxes, continues scanning bar-codes and placing items in a second shopping bag. "I'm with Five-0." It's the first time she's actually said it out loud since returning from under cover, feels strange and familiar at the same time.

"Oh, five-o!" He cashier exclaims, face breaking into a grin. "You know Steve McGarrett, then."

"He's my boss." Kono nods, pulls her wallet from her jeans pocket.

"Oh, I know Steve, I was good friends with his Father. He's a good man."

"Yeah." Kono nods, shifts on her feet, because she wants to agree with him, wants to gush about how Steve goes out of his way to save the island, remembers that he never saved her. "I'm actually staying at his place, I can tell him you said hello?"

"Yeah, that'd be good." He says, presses buttons on the cash register. "That's twenty six dollars, ma'am."

"Thanks." Kono says, hands over the last thirty dollars in her wallet, tells him to keep the change as she scoops one of the bags in her good arm and drops it in her cart. Does the same with the other.

"Do you need a hand to your vehicle?"

"Oh, no I walked." Kono shakes her head.

"From the McGarrett house?" Koa asks, eyebrows shooting up. "That's a fair distance to walk whilst carrying those bags. I can call you a cab?"

"I'm good, thank you. I like walking." She lies, because she has no money left for a cab but doesn't want to admit that bit out loud.

"Then take the cart with you." Koa smiles, "Just make sure to return it."

"Thanks, Koa." Kono smiles. "I'll bring it by tomorrow."

"No rush, 'ānela."

"Mahalo." Kono offers, before pushing the cart out of the store with her good hand, heading back for Steve's house, wonders if he's home yet.

**H50**

Kono sits in the wooden beach chair, watches the sun set and stares out at the ocean, misses feeling the warm water washing against her skin, losing herself as she rides the waves, or swims for hours, becomes one with the sea. She misses the rush she felt as she raced against the tide, listening to the swell as waves try to creep up behind her, the pride as she carves a wave, pulls a 360, charges the water. She smiles at the fond memories, knows that if it wasn't for blowing out her knee, she'd still be out there, showing the barney's how it's done.

She doesn't hear her cousin approaching her, lost in her daydreams, startles when he comes into view, carrying two bags; one a duffel, the other a paper bag with Kamekona's face on the front.

"Hey Kono. How you feeling?" He asks, placing the duffel at her feet and sitting in the other chair.

"I'm good." She nods, means it now that she can smell the garlic shrimp, gladly takes the bag he hands her; she hasn't eaten all day, is ready to die of starvation. "Thanks for the food."

"Figured you'd need to eat something." Chin smiles, leans back and looks out at the same view Kono had been appreciating for an immeasurable amount of time. "Steve's cleaning the mess in the kitchen; I assume it was supposed to be edible?" Chin laughs, because he knows Kono's the worst cook. Ever.

"Chicken." She confesses, would find it funny if she hadn't blown the last of her cash on something that just ended up as charcoal. "Is he mad?" She asks of Steve, because she hadn't cleared up, left the black meat and crumbling veg in the dish on the counter, had to vacate the premises whilst the smoke filtered out, got distracted by the sun disappearing below the horizon.

"I don't think so." Chin shakes his head, looks back at Kono. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Kono says around a mouthful of shrimp, looks over at the man she'd do anything for. "I just wish I was staying with you." She sighs, hopes he'll give in and take her home with him.

"I know." Chin nods, reaches over and squeezes her forearm, a friendly, comforting gesture. "But maybe you should make the most of this situation, huh? Talk to Steve, clear the air?"

"I don't know what you mean." Kono shakes her head, shifts in the chair, puts the box of food on the table between them, her appetite disturbed. She figured she'd been handling everything perfectly well since she'd come back; was professional and courteous, polite and rarely argued with him, always did as she was told. Apart from the one time she didn't and ended up back at the hospital.

"Kono, I'm not stupid." Chin shakes his head, his eyes seeking hers, doesn't continue until she looks at him. "You've been avoiding him like a black plague, barely talk to him unless it's to do with work, I can't even remember the last time you joined us at Side Street. I mean, you slept on his sofa last night, and he slept at the office. That's not normal, not for you guys."

"Chin, stop." Kono orders, feels uncomfortable. "I'm not going to talk about this with you."

"I don't want you to talk about it with me, I want you to talk about it with _him."_

"Look, I don't understand the problem. We work together, we're professional. I don't know what's wrong with that." Kono shrugs her shoulders, bristles, feels defensive.

"The problem is you're not switching off from being professional, Kono. We're all friends, Ohana, and you've been acting as if you've forgotten that."

"Yeah? Well where was he, my supposed 'friend', when I needed him, huh? When I was arrested, when I lost my badge? He was the only person that could have helped me, and the only person that never even bothered."

"When you were pushing us all away, you mean?" Chin asks, and Kono wouldn't have been surprised if there was a defensive tone, if he was accusing, or angry or if malice wormed it's way through the words. But there's nothing but affection, love, loyalty in his eyes. She can't be angry at that.

"He left me, Chin." She breathes, feels the air rush from her chest, the lump forming in her throat, her eyes watering; but she will not cry, not tonight, not over him.

"Talk to him, Kono." The order is soft, more of a request, or a subtle plea. Kono wipes her eyes, nods, brings her knees to her chest and wraps her good arm around them. "Just not tonight, Danny's on his way over." Chin says, his voice lighter, perhaps a little victorious. "Come on. If you're not going to eat those shrimp, maybe a grilled steak, huh?"

Kono lets a small laugh escape her, forces a smile on her lips, lets Chin help her up from the chair, stretches out her back. "I got some steaks in." She says, follows him up the lawn. "Some beers too."

Chin chuckles softly, wraps his arm around Kono's shoulders, and they head back to the house together.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Hey guys, AP here. GB is super busy with family right now, and told me she hasn't managed to post an update for a week, so she gave me her login in for me to do it! This is the last chapter for this story, thanks for all support and reviews. I wrote this one mainly, and GB still hasn't had a chance to look over it, so thanks for trusting me with this one. Sorry if it's not as good as GB's work – I tried to keep it as close to her writing style as I could manage.**

**AP.**

* * *

**The Other Side**

**(7)**

_'The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. _

_You just have to find the ones worth suffering for.'_

_-Bob Marley_

Kono's spent two weeks worth of nights sleeping on Steve's couch, and though she'll never say the words out loud, she has to admit that Danny is right; the sofa is incredibly comfortable. Her arm is starting to feel close to normal; she can move it more freely and doesn't pull a pained face each time she does, and no longer needs the daily dressing changes, has swapped to a normal gauze with tape, because the doctor was right; letting it heal from the inside out has sped the healing process up. It's a huge relief, because Kono isn't sure how much more of the SEAL playing triage with her she could take. Even though they'd never really been painful – only stung the first two or three times – she'd pretended the dressing changes had hurt a lot more so Steve would hurry the job, move away, distancing their bodies so they weren't in such a close proximity.

She can't help but feel guilty when she notices that Steve doesn't come home unless he thinks she'll already be asleep. By the fifth day at his place, she'd offered to go home at least three times, and each time Steve shook his head, insisted that she needed to stay here, where he can keep an eye on her, make sure she's healing okay, that she's not getting an infection, or forgetting to take her medication, or anything else that makes her feel like a child being told that she has to eat her vegetables, that she's not allowed to leave the table until they're all gone from her plate. She'd tried to argue, wanted to tell him it's pointless her being here because he never is anyway, but he doesn't listen, always has an excuse to leave; the Governor is calling, or Danny's got a thing, or he just needs to head to the office to do _something._ So she lets him win, gives in and spends another day watching 90210 reruns or Law&Order, paddling in the sea or just sitting with a bowl of fruit and watching the sun fall from the highest point in the sky to somewhere invisible, just below the horizon, because it's not like she can just get in her car and go home, anyway.

It takes six nights for Kono to learn Steve's routine; she pretends to sleep as he sneaks through the front door, at least an hour after midnight, heads for the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge Kono keeps stocked, heads back to the living room where he stands, and she can feel his eyes on her, watching her, silently, before sneaking over and checking the orange pill bottle – ensuring she's following the correct dose, no doubt. Then, he places the bottle back on the coffee table, pours half of his water into her empty glass, before heading up the stairs, feet falling softly on each step despite the heavy boots, kicks off his footwear once he reaches his room and then springs creak as he perches on the end of his bed. She waits for fifteen breaths, before she hears the bed creak again, then the five footsteps it takes for Steve to reach his bathroom, counts the seconds of his three minute shower, listens as he steps out of the bathroom and back over to his bed. Waits another five breaths before the bed creaks again, his body slipping under the bed sheets. It's not until another minute of silence passes that she allow herself to relax, to give into the exhaustion that shadows her. She never hears him get up in the morning, doesn't wake as he heads out to work, only knows that he's long gone when she finally stirs at 5am.

It takes a few days for Kono to realise that her new routine is exactly that; a routine. She wakes early, never past 5:30am, changes into the running gear Chin had packed into the duffel for her, runs on the beach until her legs ache and her chest burns, until sweat soaks her hair and rolls down her back, then heads home – to Steve's – grabs a fresh towel and takes a shower; doesn't count the time but knows it's longer than three minutes. She eats eggs for breakfast, sits outside in one of the beach chairs – always the one on the left – watches the water lap at the sand, listens to birds sing their morning song, inhales the fresh, salty air, can feel the warm rays of the morning sun brush across her skin.

She considers selling her home and moving closer to the beach.

Her phone pulls her from her daydreams; although on silent, the vibrations disturb the air as much as any ringtone would. Her heart rate spikes as 'Mom' flashes on the screen, her palms turn clammy; can remember the last time they'd talked, when the news readers were reporting Kono as a dirty cop before she'd had a chance to speak to her parents, to her family, can still hear her Mother telling her she's disappointed and slamming the phone down on her – because she still had one of those old fashioned, corded phones. She swallows, slides her thumb across the screen, puts her plate of scrambled eggs down on the grass by her feet, before drawing her knees up to her chest.

"Hi Mom." She answers the phone, holds her tone steady, tries not to sound as surprised as she feels.

"Kono, it's good to hear your voice." Her mother, Kalea, speaks softly, sounds relieved. "How are you?"

"I'm good." She says, picks at the hole in her jeans, watches as a single, white, fluffy cloud moves slowly across the blue sky. A few seconds pass, Kono's heart neither slowing nor increasing, her breathing controlled as she tries not to freak out, to shout and scream, to break down and cry, to ask for forgiveness, to come home.

"Chin Ho came by last night. He told us what happened." Kalea finally says, her voice soft and nurturing – the way Kono remembers.

"Oh." Kono breathes, wonders what he'd told them, how much.

"Why didn't you tell us, Kono? We didn't know what you were doing, that you weren't really bringing shame onto our family."

"I tried to call." Kono breathes, because she had, several times. They just never picked up. "I'm sorry." She says, doesn't even know what she's apologising for, but feels she should anyway.

"Oh, kaikamahine, please, you don't need to apologise. We are sorry, we should have known better."

Kono's breath catches in her throat, tears well up in her eyes, blurring her vision. She takes in a shaky breath, wipes her eyes with the sleeve of her top.

"It's okay, Mom." She decides, too tired to carry the burden of resentment, doesn't really want to risk the relationship with her, because what girl doesn't need her Mom? "I get it."

"Please, come by tomorrow for dinner? I promise to make loco moco just the way you like it?" A bribe, but one that will work nonetheless, because even as a hormonal teenager, Kono couldn't resist her Mother's cooking. "Your Father can tell you the stories of his fishing trips with Uncle Makoa."

"Sure, I'd like that." She nods, knows Kalea can't see her but doesn't care.

"Aloha." Kalea offers as a way to end the conversation, and Kono wonders if her Mom feels just as awkward as her.

"Aloha, Mom." She responds, ends the call and rubs her hands over her face. Something stirs inside of her, something that feels familiar but she can't put a name to it. Maybe she's starting to let go, she thinks, because maybe it's time to get back to being Officer Kalakaua, to get back to being old herself again. Or maybe it's just time to move on, to put the past behind her and find a new version of herself; she's reinvented herself before, who's to say she can't do it again?

It's not until she asks herself that question, that she begins to realise that she doesn't want to.

Dinner with the Kalakaua's was just as uneventful as any previous meals shared together. Kono listens to her Father tell stories of boat trips with one of her favourite Uncle's – she has many – nods in all of the right places, laughs when he gives a brief pause in the tale, or his eyes crinkle at the fond memories. She listens as her Mother tells her about her cousin Lily's latest hair colour, feigns concern when Kalea suggests the teenager is going to end up moving to the Mainland with a rock band and get too many tattoo's and inappropriate piercings – she isn't too worried because Lily reminds Kono of herself, back when she was care free and didn't have the stress or pressure of being an adult, of doing things right. She doesn't offer information about the Internal Affair's operation until her Father looks at her, his brow furrowed, face tight, eyes flicking from Kono's to the relatively small dressing on her arm, and back again.

She takes a deep breath, doesn't wait for either parent to broach the subject, to ask the questions she knows they've been wanting to ask, whether that's because they want Kono to bring it up herself, or because they're too scared of the answers, she isn't sure.

She starts by apologising, looking at each in the eye, so they know she means the words with every cell in her body, proceeds to tell them that she couldn't let them know about the sting because she couldn't risk putting them in danger, and even though it was a dangerous operation, she had back up with her almost all of the time – she doesn't tell them that the back-up was a phone call to Fryer positioned at least thirty minutes away.

She leaves out all of the gory details; how she had to be the get-away-driver for robberies, how she had to fabricate pen letters to blackmail people that owed Delano 'favours', to break into the police system using her cousin's password to get Delano any information he required, how she dropped dead bodies over bridges, off of piers, from roof tops to stage suicides. She skims over the details, just tells them she was working with the bad guys for a while, reporting back to IA, how she had to push everyone away to protect them, did the job to save the people she loved, even if they couldn't, or wouldn't, save her. She finishes, with watery eyes, by apologising for the second time, swears never to do something so reckless again, not long term any way, not unless she has to absolutely do it, and even then, she swears she'll tell her Mom and Dad first. Her Mother, Kalea, sobs loudly, pulls Kono into her arms, holds her tight, doesn't even loosen her grip when her Father, Ano, joins them. They stay there, gripping onto each other in the middle of the lounge, for an immeasurable amount of time, only relax when Kono sighs, moves away, wipes the water from her eyes, ignores the barely-there ache in her arm.

"It's getting late." She says, her voice hoarse, as she glances at the clock on the mantle. "I'd better go."

Her parents nod, Kalea pulls her into another hug, this time a quick embrace, her father kisses her on the cheek.

"A hui hou." Ano says, as they walk to the front door, each trying to prolong the moment.

"Ke akua pu a hui hou." Kalea says, looks at Kono the same way she used to as she waved her off to school.

"Aloha." Kono returns, before stepping out onto the porch, hopping down the two wooden steps and heading for her bicycle propped against the small, panelled fence.

It takes an hour for Kono to cycle back to Steve's house, and she's pretty ready to collapse on the couch and catch up with some much needed sleep by the time she turns onto his front lawn. She's surprised to see lights on in the house, laughter erupting from somewhere close by – the sound familiar and homey. She drops the bike on the grass, heads for the lanai at the back of the house, feels the surprise mould her face as she lays eyes on the group of men sitting around the round table, laughing and drinking beer, faces creased with humour.

"Kono!" Danny erupts, is the first to see her. "Are you gonna play?" Kono doesn't need to get too close to know that the men – Chin, Kamekona, Danny and Steve – are playing poker; the only game they can just about all agree on.

"Oh, I didn't know you guys were here." Kono confesses, steps up beside Chin, looks down at the pot in the middle of the table; there are a lot of bills, mainly ones and tens, but Kono has no cash, doesn't feel like going out to draw any, either. "Not tonight." She shakes her head, her exhaustion temporarily forgotten.

"Oh, come on. I can't remember the last time we all played cards." Danny continues, and Kamekona looks over at her.

"Yeah, sister, we need some more doe for me to win."

"Thanks Kame." Kono chuckles softly. "But I don't have my wallet on me."

"That's fine, I'll buy you in on the next hand. McGarrett already owes me fifty bucks anyway." Danny waves a hand, pulls out the seat between himself and Chin, pats it for her to sit next to him. She flicks her eyes over at the mention of Steve's name, feels uncomfortable when hers lock with his, looks away but knows he hasn't.

"Okay, one hand." She agrees, slides onto the cool metal, tries not to compare it to the metal chair she'd been forced to sit on before.

She watches as they continue the game, tries to laugh with them as they all joke and laugh, gamble with their money, but can feel Steve's eyes on her, risks a quick glance in his direction, catches him looking away as if he's been caught doing something he shouldn't have.

"So where have you been?" Chin asks her, his voice low and only for her ears.

"Mom called me yesterday. She invited me over for Dinner." Kono answers, her voice equally as low, watches as Chin folds his hand.

"That's good, I'm glad they came around for you."

"Thank you, Chin. They told me you went to see them. I know that took a lot for you to do." Kono squeezes his knee under the table, offers a small smile, knows she owes her renewed relationship with her family to him.

"That's what family is for, right?" Chin smiles, pats her hand. Kono nods, before their attention is pulled back to the game before them.

"Okay, McGarrett, I'll meet your fifty, and raise you a shrimp buck!" Kamekona grins, slaps his last bill on the table in front of him, pulls another piece of paper from his pocket, straightens it out and adds it to the pile; a scrunched up dollar sized, yellow sheet with Kamekona's head centred. Kono's eyes quickly flick to Danny, can almost see the rant brewing as his eyes widen and eyebrows shoot up.

"Oh, come on! You can't use that! It's not even legal tender!" Danny protests, points to the offending item in the middle of the table. "Besides, cooking a few shrimp isn't exactly going to put you out of pocket; you bulk buy at a discounted price!"

"That's just as good as real doe, Brah!" Kamekona defends. "I accept that token three days a week. I'll even let you pick which day; Tuesday, Thursday or Friday." Kono doesn't doubt he's being serious for a second, glances at the other faces around the table and can tell by the way their eyes flick to Danny that Chin and Steve are equally as amused as her.

"Seriously? Okay then." Danny nods, picks up his pile of green bills, starts to sift through them. "Then I'll match your little coupon with five singles, huh? How's that, Big Guy?"

"Nah, man. My shrimp buck is worth double that." Kamekona shakes his head.

"You're shrimp back isn't worth a damn thing!" Danny retorts, slaps the five dollars down on the table, refuses to add more.

"I thought we were friends." Kamekona says, sighs.

"Oh, yes, we are. We are as good a friend to each other as any snitch and cop can be." Danny nods. "But friends don't screw over friends by trying to include fake money in a poker game." He picks up the coupon, waves it at Kamekona before dropping it back down, resting back in his seat. "Because if it was as easy as that, I'd have just brought along the money out of Grace's monopoly game. Then I wouldn't even mind lending McGarrett some of my money. _Again_." Kono sniggers at that, because Danny has a point – his long winded, mostly off subject rants do, if you care enough to listen until the end.

"Okay guys, we'll accept the shrimp buck _and_ the five dollars, okay?" Chin steps in, calms the escalating situation before it can ignite something no one can extinguish. Danny seems to consider that, huffs a sigh.

"Fine." He eventually sighs, holds his hands up in defeat, ignores the smug look on Kamekona's face as Steve folds his hand, raises his eyebrow at the two remaining players; a challenge to reveal their cards. Danny goes first, eager, lays his cards face up on the table. Kono blinks, can't believe she's seeing what she is; nothing. No run, no pairs, no flush. Just random, completely unrelated cards.

She looks at Kamekona, waits for him to show his hand, bites her tongue as he does just that, reveals a just as useless collection.

"What?!" Danny yells, shoots forward in his seat to get a better look at the cards. "You have got to be kidding me!"

Kamekona laughs. "Nah, Brah. I've been bluffin' da whole way through."

"I know!" Danny roars, runs a hand over his immaculate blonde hair, points down at the cards. "I thought I had you with the highest card."

"Looks like Kame won!" Steve grins, slaps the big guy on the back. "Ace kicker!"

"Unbelievable." Danny shakes his head as he sinks back in his chair, folds his arms across his chest and watches as Kamekona wraps his large arms around the pile of money and drags it in towards his big belly. "Un-friggin-believable."

Kono laughs, because Danny's a worse loser than little Grace, gets up from her place at the table.

"I'm going to get a beer, anyone else want one?" As she stretches out her back and rolls her shoulders – without wincing – her tiredness forgotten in the company of her Ohana.

"Sure." Danny grumbles, eliciting another chuckle from Kono as he juts his bottom lip out a little.

"I'll take one." Kamekona looks up at her, grinning. "I need some sweet nectar to wash down all this glory."

"You got it Kamekona." Kono laughs, heads for the door.

"I'll come and help." Chin offers, starts to stand before he's waved down by Steve.

"I've got it, buddy." McGarrett says, stands up, misses the way Chin's eyes flick to Kono's and back before he sits back down. Kono swallows, tells herself she's being stupid when she starts to feel a little nervous, ducks her head down and starts for the door, can feel Chin's eyes on her back, is aware of the SEAL behind her as she steps over the threshold and heads for the kitchen.

Kono tries to pretend she doesn't notice Steve isn't talking to her, that he barely does any more. She leads the way into the kitchen, the only sound is that of their friends squabbling outside and their footfalls on the hard floor. She pulls open the fridge, uses it as a shield against McGarrett's stare as she pulls out the bottles from the holder. When she closes the fridge door, Steve's stood there, leaning against the counter, his arms folded over his chest, his ankles crossed, face scrunched into something that looks like concentration, or deep thought. Kono clears her throat as his eyes follow her around the kitchen, searching for that bag of buttered popcorn she knows she's been saving, and then when she finds it, she searches for the large bowl she's already used three times this week. When she manages to locate it, she sighs, because he's put it back in the wrong cupboard, and that's when she realises she's far to comfortable being in this house.

"I'm going to pack my things and go home tonight." She decides, sounds firm, because this isn't up for debate. She's practically healed, doesn't need a babysitter any more, can't stand the way Steve tiptoes around her and barely says anything. Steve's forehead creases even further, his eyes narrow.

"Oh." He nods, looks almost confused. "Are you sure..."

"I'm fine." She cuts him off, because she doesn't need another lecture about how she's incapable of looking after her own damned arm. "It's for the best. You don't have to avoid your own house then."

"I'm not..."

"It's okay, Boss. I get it. I'll see you in work on Monday."

"Right, Monday." Steve nods, the creases on his forehead deepening.

"That's if you want me to come back." Kono kicks herself for assuming he even wants her back after her latest stunt. Wouldn't blame him if he didn't.

"Of course I...we...do." Steve nods quickly, and Kono offers a small smile.

"Great. Better get those beers out to the guys before they go warm." She says lamely, ducking out of the conversation before Steve can change his mind, hopes he'll grab the bowl of popcorn too because she's already heading out and can't risk looking like a fool by turning back to grab it.

They don't manage another game of cards. Instead they drink beer and joke about Danny being a sore loser, how Kamekona had emptied him out on almost every hand, which quickly turns into a long winded rant about Steve owing him money, again, and how he would still be playing if his wallet hadn't ran dry. Kamekona is the first to leave, makes up some excuse about needing to open up the Shave Ice shack early in the morning, but they can all tell that he's dead on his feet, probably isn't used to drinking beer as much as they all are. They lose track of time, Danny and Chin challenge each other to drink bottles of beer in one go, and when they've run out, they raid Steve's liquor cupboard, begin doing shots of whiskey. Kono laughs until her sides hurt, can't remember feeling this good, the last time they'd all hung out and drunk until one of them passed out, is a little grateful for not having work tomorrow, even if she did stop drinking a fair time ago and feels practically sober. She glances at Steve, isn't surprised that he watches her as he swigs from his bottle, seems as sober as her, refuses to take part in the drinking games Danny and Chin are participating in. She wonders if she should call him out, blame it on the alcohol, but he looks away the second her eyes catch his, and part of her wonders if she's imagining it.

"Well, time to call it a night!" Danny announces, slurs, stands and sways as he pulls his keys from his pocket.

"You're not driving anywhere!" Kono scorns, takes the car keys from Danny's hand, can't believe her ears when she hears Chin giggle. _Like a school girl._ "Oh man." She mumbles, only remembers Chin being this drunk once before, remembers teasing him for days after because he's a merry drunk, grabs hold of Danny's arm and leads him into the living room, drops him on the couch she's so accustomed too, before heading back out for Chin, wonders how long she can tease him this time.

"Come on, Cuz." She mumbles, hauling the Hawaiian to his feet, supports him as she leads him through the house, stumbles up the stairs, almost falls down twice, before directing him to Mary's old room and dropping him on the bed, scoops his legs up and hopes he doesn't roll out. "Get some sleep." She orders, pulls the cover over her already drifting cousin, is relieved that Kamekona checked out early, because she isn't entirely sure that's a body she could support. She heads back down the stairs, tiptoes through the living room, passes an already snoring Danny, steps onto the lanai and closes the door quietly.

Steve's already collecting the discarded glass bottles in a trash can, the only other apparently sober person. She doesn't offer to help, doesn't offer any words, instead she starts to pick up the wrappers on the ground, collecting the spilled popcorn, reaches for the upturned bowl under the table, gets on her hands and knees as she spots some more bottles under the far chairs. Wonders if she should still head home, if she should thank Steve for hosting the get together tonight, remembers he didn't actually tell her, invite her, realises he's probably pissed because he obviously didn't want her there, but she crashed any way.

"For fuck's sake, Kono!" Steve bursts as Kono reaches for the discarded beer bottle under one of the chairs, makes her jump and bang her head on the table. "This is fucking killing me!" Kono straightens up, faces Steve, watches as he drops the can full of bottles on the floor, rubs a hand over his face, up through his short, brown hair, back down over coarse stubble. Kono takes a step back, glances back at the house, wonders if he's woken any of the sleeping drunks, bites her lip as she turns back to see Steve step down from the lanai and begin pacing across the lawn, casting the occasional glance at her.

"I...I don't follow...what?!"

"You!" Steve bellows, pointing at her as he goes back and forth. "I can't take it any more!" He fails to elaborate, confuses Kono even further, because she can't recall saying anything that may upset Steve, or anger him. He stops his face, stops short of the decking below her feet, looks at her, his face twisted as if in pain, dark eyes tormented as they lock onto her. She swallows, takes a deep breath as she tries to search for words, tries to remember what she's said or done to evoke this reaction, comes up blank so settles for a lame 'okay'.

"Okay?" Steve repeats, almost as if he's asking a question, searching for confirmation, moves his fidgeting hands to his hips before resuming his pacing. "Okay." He repeats, cants his head to the side as if considering the word, stops to face her again, raises a hand to point at her. "You are infuriating." Low and controlled, dangerous.

"_I'm _infuriating?!" Can't quite believe what she's hearing, is no longer concerned for her sleeping friends in the house because she doubts anything would wake their alcohol induced slumber.

"Yes!" Steve jerks his head once, his voice getting louder, almost a shout. "And self righteous, and stubborn..."

"And you're egotistical!" Kono snaps, can't stop the words pouring out of her mouth, doesn't even want to.

"You're so frustrating!"

"You're a sexist pig!"

"You're arrogant, and aggressive!"

"And you're a hypocrite!" Kono yells, grits her teeth.

"I'm a _hypocrite_?!" Steve shouts, eyes shooting up, hands thumping his chest.

"Yes, you are!" Kono barks back, slams the empty bottles down on the table before folding her arms across her chest defensively, ignores the slight tug of her healing wound. She holds her eyes on Steve's, refuses to blink, so show any weakness, to back down. For a few seconds, the only sounds she can hear are the waves hitting the shore and their laboured breathing, before a loud rumble rolls across the sky and rain begins to pour down, hard and fast.

"Fine!" Steve snaps, looks away from her as the rain drips from his hair, soaks his shirt, runs down his face and arms. Rubs his hand over his face in an attempt to dry it before looking back at Kono, his expression unreadable. "Fine." He repeats, sounds more final, before hopping up onto the lanai, storming passed Kono and heading back inside, slamming the door hard enough to rattle the glass and shake the frame, makes Kono jump.

She takes a second to wrap her head around what has just happened, tries to figure out what started the outburst, what she had done to infuriate her boss enough to make him use the same tone on her as he's used the day he's had her arrested and thrown into a dingy room that represented a damned dungeon. Something new ignites in her belly, fuelling her; anger, frustration, betrayal? She doesn't know. She jumps down from the decking, heads around the side of the house, past her discarded bicycle on the lawn and starts to walk down the road. Where she's going, she isn't sure, just knows that she can't stay there any more.

She's barely walked a block before she's soaked through to skin; water streams down her face, into her eyes, saturates her hair and clothes.

She can't believe McGarrett; can't believe he had the audacity to stand there, shouting at her like she's some child he has the right to yell at, as if she was the one in the wrong. She fumes, her hands clenched at the side of her, as she turns and starts to head back, ready to confront him, to yell at him for being a jerk, chickens out and turns away again. She only manages to cover another two blocks when she hears the familiar roar of the Silverado's engine, refuses to look around as it slows to match her pace. She speeds up, a feeble attempt to lose the truck, should know better, wonders if there are any small side streets she can turn up to lose the one person she's trying to run from.

She can hear the window wind down over the downpour, his voice calls over the rain.

"Get in the truck, Kono."

"No!" She yells back, makes her legs work harder, faster, refuses to break into a jog, knows she doesn't have the energy.

"This is stupid, just get in the car!" He tries again, and she can't believe he's actually trying to tell her what to do. She ignores him, because she doesn't want to be anywhere with Steve McGarrett right now, let alone a small, confined space. She rubs her hand over her face, tries to wipe away the water, no doubt smudging her mascara, but she can't bring herself to care.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Steve calls, and Kono stops in her tracks, almost squeaking her shoes, turns to face him as the Silverado breaks.

"You're sorry?" She repeats, looking at him through the window, squinting as more water runs into her eyes.

"Yeah, okay? Now get in, you're soaked!"

"No. Thank you." She forces through grit teeth. She can't believe this guy! Turns and starts walking again, is surprised to hear the engine cut out, the door open and the familiar boots splashing against sidewalk. Feels his hand wrap around her good arm, turns her to face him. She refuses to look up at him, to look at his face, settles for staring at his chest.

"I didn't mean it, okay?" He says, and she frowns, gives in and looks up at him.

"Didn't mean what?"

"What I said back there. I was just...frustrated." He sighs, water dripping from the short pieces of hair, runs down his face and drops onto his drenched shirt.

"Frustrated?" Kono echoes, sounds as furious as she feels. "You felt _frustrated_?!"

"Yeah, I'm sorry..."

"Well at least I know you're capable of apologies!" She spits, before turning on her heel and heading away again, wants as much distance between herself and Steve as possible.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Steve scoffs, jogs to catch up and then steps in front of her to stop her.

"Nothing." Kono mumbles, because she isn't sure she wants this conversation right now, doesn't know how they went from playing poker to arguing in the rain.

"Nothing." Steve breathes, narrows his eyes. "That's all it ever is with you; fucking 'nothing'."

"Well what do you want me to say, huh?" She yells, her arms thrust open wide, doesn't need to wait long for an answer.

"I want you to tell me what's going on with you! I want to know what I have done so bad that you hate me..."

"You left me!" Kono explodes, the words she's been forcing down for months erupting from her, unstoppable lava, damage done.

"What?" Steve huffs, the air leaving his chest as if he's been punched. Punched hard.

"When I lost my badge, when I thought I'd lost everything, you left me." She clarifies, her voice wobbling slightly, even though she knows Steve knows exactly what she's talking about.

"Kono, I didn't..."

"Just don't give me any bullshit excuses, okay?" She cuts him off. "Just admit it; the second you got your badge back, you forgot about me!"

"I didn't forget you." Steve shakes his head, reaches out to touch her arm but she moves her body, angles away from him. "I just thought you wanted some space..."

"Fuck off, Steve!" Kono shrieks, wipes more rain from her face, jabs a finger into his chest. "You didn't send one message! Not one fucking text!"

"I didn't think you wanted to see me, Kono. It was my fault..."

"Don't play that game! I never blamed you, I just needed you! You know I'd take that money all over again to save Chin's life. But you were supposed to have my back!"

"Fuck, Kono." Steve rubs at his face, shakes his head. "I_ do_ have your back. I _always _have your back."

"No, Steve, you don't." Kono shakes her head, is too angry to realise it's the first time she's used his name since coming back. "You had me arrested and thrown into interrogation by my damned replacement. You interrogated me like a dirty criminal, like you thought I was a dirty cop. Like you thought I was _guilty_."

"I know..."

"You were just doing your job." Kono says for him, even if they aren't the words he was going to utter. "I get that, I do. I mean, it's not like you were ever in my position, right? It's not like you were ever caught standing over the Governor's dead body with the murder weapon in your hand, right?"

"Kono..."

"Dammit, Steve! I was you! When you had me cuffed in front of everyone I cared for, _I _was _you_! But I didn't, not even for a second, think that there was a possibility you were guilty. You? You never even considered the possibility that I was innocent. Spot the difference." Kono says, can feel her emotions creeping up on her, threatening to wash over her and drown her.

"That's what you think?" Steve gasps, eyes widening. "Kono, you have no idea." He shakes his head, and Kono folds her arms across her chest.

"Really? Well why don't you enlighten me, huh? Actually talk to me instead of avoiding me, like I physically disgust you?"

"Okay, you want to know what I was thinking that day, what I was feeling?" Steve fumes, louder, matches Kono's tone, sounds angry. "I was _scared_, Kono. I've never been more scared in my whole life."

"What..." Kono takes a step back, wasn't expecting that answer, sifts through her brain to find an appropriate response, can only focus on Steve's confession.

"I should have been there for you, okay? I know that! But I let my shit, my guilt, get in the way of being a friend, and I'm sorry. When Chin came to me, when he told me what you were doing, who you were hanging out with, I didn't know what to do! My first instinct was to bring you in because I needed you safe, I needed to see you, to feel you, to know that you were still _you_!"

"You had Lori cuff me, dammit! You threw me in interrogation!" Kono points out.

"I know. I dealt with it the wrong way, I know that now! But I know that if I was you, I wouldn't want to see me, or be around me either. I put you in there so you couldn't run, so I could try to get through to you, so I could break you out of whatever shit you'd gotten into because of _me_!"

"Okay, but what about since then? Huh? You barely look at me!"

"Because it kills me to see you look at me with so much hatred, so much resentment." Steve sighs, tries to wipe away the water on his face. "Kono, you're just as much family to me as Mary is. And I promise you, I'd have done exactly the same if it was her in trouble, okay?"

"But it wasn't Mary." Kono says, barely above a whisper, the anger dimming, feels emotionally drained, exhausted. "It was me. You should have trusted me."

"I did, I _do_, trust you. Look, I'm sorry, okay? Really sorry. I fucked up so bad, and I regret it and I promise I wont let it happen again."

Kono takes in a deep breath, blinks as more rainwater runs down her face, into her eyes, shivers as the fury dies, the hot rage no longer warming her.

"I just want everything to go back to normal. I don't want you to be ashamed of me any more." Kono's eyes water, she takes in a shaky breath.

"Ashamed? Kono, I've never been ashamed of you." Steve says quickly. "I'm proud of you, you moron." Kono lets a sound slip past her lips, halfway between a sob and laughter. "Come here." He orders, pulls Kono into his arms before she has a chance to protest and Kono can't help but fall against him, the security she's missed so badly is right there, holding on to her. She wraps her own arms around Steve's waist, rests her head against his soaking shirt, shivers again, lets her tears mix with rain water.

"Come on, we'd better get back and dry off. I'll make us some hot chocolate."

"With marshmallows?" Kono asks, feels the weight that's been threatening to drown her slowly melt away, can finally breathe easy.

"Of course, gotta feed your sugar addiction!" Steve nods seriously, leads Kono back to the car, heads around to the drivers side. "I've never had so much junk in my cupboards before."

"It's not junk food." Kono disagrees, sliding into the passenger seat and cranking the heater on full as soon as Steve starts up the engine. "Besides, I couldn't live on your ration packs!"

Steve laughs at that, heads for home, and Kono smiles as she rests her head against the glass, because even if they weren't there yet, she knows one day, they'll go back to being normal, back to being friends, because they're Ohana. They break each other and then glue the pieces back together, form stronger bonds, love the new cracks and chips even more than the original piece.

Maybe tonight, the nightmares wont plague her sleep.


End file.
